I’m definitely a sensitive man. Like most sensitive men, I definitely find it challenging in the “yeah, you gotta eat 50 lb of bacon, pump iron 7x a day, never smile, and always take on a challenge” world of masculinity. I mean, we’ve definitely come a long way over the last decade making emotions something men can accept, but we got a long way to go.
Most articles I read about sensitive men are mostly about hiding it, how we’re not supposed, to, and then when we do we’ll feel better, blah blah blah. But I’m already expressive. I find it challenging, from both men and women.
From men, I don’t feel like a man (I don’t mean in the sexual sense…just from a psychological sense). In men’s groups I get so tired of talking about work and (maybe) hobbies I just wanna run out of the room screaming. It’s hard to find any other men who are okay talking about their feelings. When I do (I’m not afraid to), I find no one is able to relate.
From women, I think they often want to see me as a stereotypical stoic man. So when I do express myself, I’m seen as “not manly,” which can be a turnoff, whether for romance or friendship.
So how do other sensitive men cope with expressing their feelings?
I’ve had some similar difficulties in really masculine spaces so I can relate to that part. I think I learned enough about being “one of the guys” that I can sort of participate, but I’m not enjoying myself.
Honestly I haven’t had the same experience with women, though. I’ve always had lots of platonic female friends through my life and I sometimes find it easier to hang out with women than men, or a mixed crowd is generally fine, too.
Don’t get me wrong, I have male friends that I really enjoy spending time with, but they’re not stereotypical guys either so that’s probably why.
How do I cope? I just don’t spend time with guys I don’t vibe with honestly. Life’s too short to hang out with boring people.