I think of myself as playing the role of a wise old mentor who has had lots of experience, telling stories to the young adventurers, trying to toughen them up, somewhat similar to how Prof Quirrell[8] toughens up the students in HPMOR through teaching them Defense Against the Dark Arts

[8] Note that during our conversation, Emerson brought up HPMOR and the Quirrell similarity, not me.

epistemic status: jesus fucking christ, what is your major malfunction?!