• @BoringHusband
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    2277 months ago

    I guess soon, when you break-up with someone, the state might charge you with killing the idea of the children you might have had.

  • partial_accumen
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    1427 months ago

    Alabama top selling item on Amazon right now:

  • @[email protected]
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    1187 months ago

    Isn’t it illegal to transport a child to commit a crime? Human trafficking? Kidnapping? What a can of worms. I feel like there’s too much money in fertility treatments for SCOTUS to let this stand.

    • Pantsofmagic
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      1187 months ago

      Well since they don’t have birth certificates I guess they’re undocumented people and that would be bad mmkay.

      • @pdxfed
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        557 months ago

        Embryo camps. Spotlights, very small dogs. We’ll get every last one.

      • @[email protected]
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        67 months ago

        Just send them on a bus to sanctuary cities! Checkmate… Oh, wait, that gives them what they want. We’ve been Uno reverse carded!

    • @mvirts
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      207 months ago

      They’re my kids so they can live in my freezer

        • @postmateDumbass
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          17 months ago

          All fun and games until hungover you makes 1 smoothie too many…

          • @SpaceNoodle
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            27 months ago

            Joke’s on you, I’m a recovering alcoholic

            • @postmateDumbass
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              -37 months ago

              Recovering from injury after falling down stairs on your last bemder?

              • @SpaceNoodle
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                37 months ago

                Actively working to take back control of my own life, and developing the tools I need to stay sober.

              • @Daft_ish
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                7 months ago

                If you’ve been hurt in a bemder accident you deserve compensation. Contact James Jameson and Co. We will stand up -for you- when you fall down. Call 1800thisisamemefuxyou

      • @[email protected]
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        77 months ago

        Look here, pal!

        I spent the first ten years of my childhood in Alabama living in a freezer! Do you have any idea what that’s like?

        No hugs, no toys. A fucking freezer!

        For ten years of my childhood!

      • @Dkarma
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        77 months ago

        He did the Republican thing that they always do.

        You know. Be bad people.

    • @HauntedCupcake
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      77 months ago

      I’m surprised the Alabama legal system isn’t more comfortable with miscarriages. They seem to have had a lot recently

    • @[email protected]
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      17 months ago

      When she arrived at hospital seeking treatment, Poolaw admitted to using illicit drugs while pregnant.

      So the ‘crime’ is of causing the death of the foetus through illegal drug use.

      • SeaJ
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        47 months ago

        It’s not conclusive that the cause was drug use. And that really should not matter anyway. It was a miscarriage.

    • @gedaliyahM
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      177 months ago

      “Yes, I see on your tax forms that you have claimed 1034 dependents, which means that the state actually owes YOU. Here is your big bag of money sir.”

    • @chiliedogg
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      77 months ago

      Well considering most people who have them are wealthy, it would fit right in with Republicans wanting to give tax breaks to the rich.

      The real question is child support.

    • @unreasonabro
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      67 months ago

      Oh man, get the state to pay for the storage costs for your embryos. That’ll put and end to this silly shit STAT.

  • @[email protected]
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    707 months ago

    Tinder in certain states will put up an alert, warning you that if female, by proceeding with the date, you may be liable to carry a child to term, and if male, will need to pre-deposit child support in an escrow account.

    • @[email protected]
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      -57 months ago

      Ooh I like the child support pre-deposit idea. Sounds ominously like taking responsibility for the child you might conceive from your pleasure.

  • fmstrat
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    7 months ago

    The onion almost got me again.

    Wait…

    • @[email protected]
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      37 months ago

      Massive child trafficking ring brought down in Alabama. Governor to receive medal for outstanding achievement in law enforcement as 700 arrests are performed statewide.

  • GreenPlasticSushiGrass
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    547 months ago

    I’m not messing with that soft paywall. Are they saying that parents who let their frozen embryos go bad in the freezer are guilty of murder or manslaughter?

    • @NegativeInf
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      937 months ago

      That’s one interpretation. The judge used religious logic in his ruling.

      • FenrirIII
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        827 months ago

        Fucking Christian whackos

        • Uranium3006
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          427 months ago

          we need to get religion out of our society, it causes nothing but problems.

          • @Daft_ish
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            117 months ago

            You don’t understand. This old book told me all the answers to life’s mysteries. WoOoOooo it’s infallible.

            God it would be funny/sad if someone found a copy of Mike Pences auto biography 10,000 years after some cataclysm destroyed society. Than they started worshiping it.

            • FuglyDuck
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              97 months ago

              WoOoOooo

              You said it wrong. You failed your attempt at conversion.

              Wololo. Wololo. Wololo.

              Welcome to the Huns.

                • FuglyDuck
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                  7 months ago

                  My dad was one of those jerks that would build 30-40 priests on an Econ build and then push with them when you decided to try and crack that nut,

                  Poof there goes your army.

                  Not that he really knew what an Econ build was, or any of the other things. But he’d play this “I don’t know what I’m doing” act and get away with it, (and he wasn’t good enough to deserve a feudal rush. Just… annoying.)

            • Flying Squid
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              67 months ago

              Sorry, that’s a no true Scotsman fallacy.

              It doesn’t matter if they aren’t Christ-like. Many, many Christians, including clergy and even pontiffs have committed atrocities. They still worshiped Christ, making them Christians.

              If we were to play it your way, the Crusaders weren’t Christians, the Spanish Inquisition weren’t Christians, the Conquistadors weren’t Christians, etc. I don’t think that’s what you intend, but that is the problem with suggesting people who are not Christlike are not Christians.

              Otherwise, we need to invent a new religion and put a huge percentage of people from the last 2000 years who thought they were called Christians into it.

              • If you read the fallacy you’d realize that you fell into the false fallacy fallacy.

                To quote your linked article:

                No true Scotsman or appeal to purity is an informal fallacy in which one attempts to protect their generalized statement from a falsifying counterexample by excluding the counterexample improperly.[1][2][3] Rather than abandoning the falsified universal generalization or providing evidence that would disqualify the falsifying counterexample, a slightly modified generalization is constructed ad-hoc to definitionally exclude the undesirable specific case and similar counterexamples by appeal to rhetoric.

                There is plenty of countries with a christian background and still majority christian population, that wouldn’t even think to discuss such absurd policies. American nutjobs cannot be considered to be representative of christianity as a whole. Much of their nutjobbery is specific to them.

                • Flying Squid
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                  37 months ago

                  American nutjobs cannot be considered to be representative of christianity as a whole.

                  No one said they were. They aren’t. But they are Christians. That is their religion even if you don’t like that it is the same as yours.

              • SaltySalamander
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                -27 months ago

                If we were to play it your way, the Crusaders weren’t Christians, the Spanish Inquisition weren’t Christians, the Conquistadors weren’t Christians, etc

                All of the above are Catholic, and the vast majority of Christians I know would agree that they aren’t Christian.

                • @PRUSSIA_x86
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                  27 months ago

                  Catholics are the OG Christians, despite what all the seething Protestants might tell you.

                • Flying Squid
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                  17 months ago

                  That is not only another No True Scotsman fallacy, it’s also anecdotal.

                  Catholics are undeniably Christians no matter what other Christians may think. Catholicism likely came before their sect anyway.

                • @[email protected]
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                  7 months ago

                  That may be but the original point you seemed to make was broader.

                  I.e. you just moved the goal post because of the examples.

                  Are Prosperity Theology Christian’s not really Christian?

                  btw, the buddha wasn’t a buddhist, and christ wasn’t a christian. Let go of identity views and just do the next right thing.

                  The world is tribal enough.

            • @BrokenGlepnir
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              37 months ago

              I’ve been thinking of them as antichristian. Not as in against Christianity, but as in antichrist …ian. From what I’ve heard the whole idea of the antichrist is supposed to be that Christians love the guy even though the guy goes against all of the lessons of Jesus, but he does the performative stuff. That sounds like what I see there.

            • @TengoDosVacas
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              07 months ago

              Christianity is an evil ideology, and they are acting as christians.

        • @TengoDosVacas
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          17 months ago

          It is absolutely an evil ideology and shut be utterly abolished along with all Abrahamic religions. Fuck the Constitution; they got this one dead wrong

          • @[email protected]
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            17 months ago

            *theistic religions

            Believing that the flying spaghetti monster will solve all the worlds issues means you don’t function in society

            • @TengoDosVacas
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              27 months ago

              Sad that you have not been touched by His noodly appendage. Perhaps one day, Ramen

      • Billiam
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        657 months ago

        The judge used religious logic religion in his ruling.

        Ain’t no logic to be found there.

      • FuglyDuck
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        107 months ago

        to be fair, the (wrongful death*) lawsuit was because the hospital or wherever they were being stored at let the frozen embryos die off. It’s entirely reasonable to expect some kind of… protection… considering the reason for those to have been stored was so they might be able to have kids, etc.

        *wrongful death is a bit much, mind you. But how far do you want to take the “guy beats a pregnant woman to kill the baby” types of charges? ultimately, I suspect, the issue here is that the religious nutjobs lack nuance. they see the world as black-and-white and can’t fathom a possibility where there were damages in this matter, but it wasn’t a “wrongful death” scenario.

        • WhatTrees
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          197 months ago

          From what I’ve previously read the agency that had the frozen embryos did not let them die off, they stored them properly in an industrial freezer kept at far below 0 temps. The issue was a person who didn’t work at the clinic snuck into the room with the fridge, opened it and then dropped the embryos and ran away (the article said the assumption was because the containers were so cold he got freeze-burned). There might be a case here that they didn’t do enough to stop the individual, or check on them often enough, I don’t know enough details to know, but it doesn’t sound like they just simply didn’t care or didn’t store them properly.

          States have long had laws against forcibly ending someone else’s pregnancy and those have stood up even before Roe died. It’s not usually on the level of murder/manslaughter, but at a minimum it’s been treated as a destruction of property. You don’t have to treat the embryo as a person to charge someone with aggravated battery or something similar.

          The main issue here is the broadness of this ruling (besides the whole quoting the Bible thing) which equates embryos with full-human life. It won’t change a whole lot in this case, the families could have still sued for negligence or destruction of property, or any number of other civil remedies of this was denied, but now it’s laid the ground work to do much worse things in the future.

          • FuglyDuck
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            7 months ago

            Looking close, you’re right. Vandals got in.

            I would suggest the facility was negligent in their security arrangements, as far as wrongful death (again, it’s a pretty dubious “if”, that it goes that far), it would be like somebody dying because the building wasn’t up to code when an arson came by.

            My assumption is, though, that there’s a budget-rate warm body security guard; and between shit pay, shit training, shittier oversight… the guard couldn’t be arsed to care. (Alternatively, the guard was going to sell them for drug money.)

            The good news for the facility… if their lawyers were any good in that contract they’d have gotten an indemnity clause and can pass that buck. (Liability is a bitch; and she hits hard. The security company will probably go poof unless they’re the size of G4S or Securitas)

            In any case… personally, it doesn’t rise to wrongful death, but I can see a need for nuance. I would, personally, suggested the couple treat it as property, similar to a safety deposit box.

          • @[email protected]
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            37 months ago

            How could it be battery if the embryos aren’t treated as people? Nobody was battered. No victim was even present.

            • FuglyDuck
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              27 months ago

              For the record, if we treat this more like a safety deposit box; the couple are the victims here.

              It should probably be treated that way.

              Their argument is because those embryos had potential to be human… they should be treated as human.

              I don’t buy it, and it’s certainly not something that should establish the precedent that embryos=babies.

              • @[email protected]
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                17 months ago

                So sue for property damage. Harvesting embryos is an expensive and painful process. Hell you could even sue for pain and suffering.

                But wrongful death is just ridiculous.

                • FuglyDuck
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                  77 months ago

                  Gee, that’s…. More or less what I’m saying?

            • WhatTrees
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              17 months ago

              Sorry for the confusion, the battery part of my reply was related to forcibly ending someone else’s pregnancy, which would have to involve some kind of battery unless it’s like poison or something, not related to the embryos in the freezer. There is no battery to those since they are not people.

      • Overzeetop
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        77 months ago

        I don’t see how this isn’t prima facie evidence of a first amendment violation (presuming that the courts or state legislatures are bound by “Congress” being synonymous with “Government” as I believe it’s been interpreted)

      • @[email protected]
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        7 months ago

        Pretty sure personal beliefs which haven’t been proven should make the ruling invalid. He’s judge, not king.

  • @fidodo
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    537 months ago

    If I were in Alabama I’d race to move out of Alabama

  • @Treczoks
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    477 months ago

    If those embryos count as children, wouldn’t it be OK to ask for all kinds of legal benefits for them?

    • @[email protected]
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      377 months ago

      It’s the most effective way to challenge the law. Just carry it through to its natural conclusion.

    • @[email protected]
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      187 months ago

      “Wow I suddenly have 11 kids to care for. I can’t afford to live. Better apply for snap and tanf.”

      • @CeruleanRuin
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        97 months ago

        Lol, you think there are any social programs left after these chucklefucks are through.

      • @WaxedWookie
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        157 months ago

        Using transit lanes!

        Family tax benefits!

        Ooh! Divorce and file for child support for dozens of kids!

        • @NotMyOldRedditName
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          67 months ago

          Adopt thousands of them and then every few days remove one from the freezer or fridge or whatnot and then demand bereavement leave.

        • @SergeantScar
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          37 months ago

          Carpool lane with 2 vials in the passenger seat?

  • @gedaliyahM
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    427 months ago

    Sounds like transporting a minor across state lines

    • @BritishDuffer
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      187 months ago

      It turns out parents are allowed to take their children over state lines.

    • @[email protected]
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      177 months ago

      Well that’s a potential future news headline that I hadn’t imagined until just now. I can hardly wait to be horrified!

  • @[email protected]
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    407 months ago

    if a woman has a period and has had sex, there is a good chance a fertilized egg was probably somewhere around the blood, making every woman in Alabama who has had sex a possible serial killer

        • @General_Effort
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          127 months ago

          You have referenced forbidden knowledge. You are not supposed to talk about god doing abortions.

        • @angrystego
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          37 months ago

          I think you just didn’t word it clearly enough. Someone might read it as a woman getting pregnant from sex during period, which is not what you meant.

          • @[email protected]
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            187 months ago

            it is impossible that a fertilized egg can shed? i was under the impression that it may sometimes happen

            • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ
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              237 months ago

              (It happens frequently. Like more often then it doesn’t huehuehue)

            • @Soulg
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              117 months ago

              Yes we know what a period is, and it’s common for eggs to be flushed out after falling to implant.

            • @[email protected]
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              37 months ago

              Fun fact, there is quite more to learn about everything after school. School will provide you with rather abbreviated and often simplified version of scientific conses from around 50 years ago.

      • @[email protected]
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        07 months ago

        Mate, are you just so confused with what is happening with the responses here? I’ve literally had an abortion; I’m pro choice. But there’s this random pile on of I’m assuming men, telling us what idiots we are.

  • @[email protected]
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    7 months ago

    Think of the potential tax wind fall these people could have! I’d knuckle shuffle up some “kids” and rake in the tax money.

    • @TellusChaosovich
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      157 months ago

      Unfortunately they made embryos children for the purposes of punishments, but let the bill die that would have made them dependents on taxes.

      • @[email protected]
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        77 months ago

        Take it to court! They either have to decide this law is shit, or it forces the state to pay for them.

      • @agitatedpotato
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        7 months ago

        Well they cant be half children. Theyre either kids or not, Id claim them all and if they audit it, then it FORCES the government to involve themselves and set a precedent. If it’s a life, its certainly dependent on the clinic, claim them. Also if they’re truly considered lives, they are inherently entitled to all the rights the US offers living humans. A state tax bill can’t negate that, only dropping the clasification of being a living being can.

        • @rambaroo
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          17 months ago

          The history of this country proves that we have no issues with the blatant cognitive dissonance of declaring someone to only be a portion of a person.

          • @agitatedpotato
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            27 months ago

            And now there’s precedent on how that’s not legal. I still think its a worthwile challenge.