Better learn his polearms if he wants to be a guard. That’s a halberd, not a spear.
This is my knifey guard stick. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My knifey guard stick is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
Without me, my knifey guard stick is useless. Without my knifey guard stick, I am useless.
This is my knifey guard stick
This is my gun
My knifey guard stick is for stabbing
My gun is for fun
Let’s just call it unidentified poleaxe.
Still not a spear though.
Lol … A bunch of us get transported back to medieval Europe …
Medieval guard: HALT!! Who are you heathens!!!?
Memer #1: what kind of spear is that?
Memer #2: that’s not a spear … don’t you know your polearms!?
Memer #3: that’s definitely a halberd.
Memer #4: no it isn’t, that’s a voulge.
Memer #5: lol … you guys don’t know your poleaxes!
Guard stabs Memer #2, who falls over in a pool of blood
Memer #1:
Memer #3:
Memer #4:
Memer #5: that’s definitely a halberd
Archaeologists discover 4chan posts on parchment scrolls.
Yes but is it the pro model? What’s the TOS on something like this?
Drumroll…
Hey!
“I’ve fought MUDCRABS more fearsome than you!”
I saw a mudcrab the other day. Horrible creatures.
REMEMBER THE EMPEROR! HUAHUA
Men only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting.
ACAB even castle guards <3
ACGAB
A castle guard once stabbed my hound when he busted a serf for heresy next door.
For the Emperor!
Also fun fact, you’d be a firefighter.
Just wait until a player character comes along and cuts your head off for lulz. Then you won’t be so happy with your choices.
players are the worst
(quicksaves)
Lil murder hobos.
It does sound like a chill job.
More like super boring until you get stabbed.
You’re supposed to do the stabbing. If you get stabbed then you weren’t a good guard.
Boredom and chillness are two sides of the same coin. It all depends on how you take it
Leering at wenches
But why?
seems like you might not cut it as a castle guard
Fair enough. I would’ve made a terrible cop, too.
There were a lot of good jobs back then. Did you know people used to pay you to pick up their shit? Now you got to pay them for it. Future sucks.
I mean, you still pay people to do that?
any old iron
any old iron
any any any old iron
you look sweet
talk about a treat
you look dapper from yer napper to yer feet
dressed in style
brand new tile
Wi yer fathers old green tie on
but I wouldn’t give yer tuppance for your old watch chain
old iron
old iron
Nah na na na na na. Nah na na na na na. How’s your father? Alright.
“I used be an army officer till I took an arrow to the knee”
Renaissance faires are awesome btw
Did you used to be an adventurer like me?
Until you get an arrow in your back.
Or the knee
More honest living to be a wench than a guard.
