I think it’s a matter of perspective. When you look at Christians, you may see positive aspects or good outcomes from their beliefs. When I look at Christianity, I see it through a different lens, shaped by the contradictions and harm I’ve observed or experienced firsthand. I don’t disregard any positive intentions or outcomes, but for me, it’s hard to overlook some deeply ingrained patterns within the ideology — including aspects like intolerance or exclusivity that have hurt many people.

It’s also worth considering that Christianity isn’t just a collection of individuals; it’s a large, varied belief system with core doctrines that each believer subscribes to in some way. As an ideology, it’s not simply a matter of ‘fixing’ individual flaws. The core beliefs remain, and even when Christians focus on love and kindness, many still uphold doctrines that have been used to judge or exclude others. While different denominations may interpret the Bible’s teachings in unique ways, they share foundational scriptures that include passages some may find difficult or divisive.

Growing up within the church, especially in a context that emphasized both Old and New Testament teachings, I was taught a blend of ideas: love and forgiveness, but also rigid judgment. I remember questions of morality being answered with Old Testament severity as often as with New Testament compassion. This created a sense of exclusivity that left little room for people who didn’t fit within certain moral boundaries. For instance, while ‘Love the sinner, hate the sin’ was often preached, it felt conditional, with acceptance only offered to those who conformed.

So, when I hear that I might be seeing things too ‘black and white,’ I can only share what my experience has shown me. Christianity, as I knew it, seemed to draw strict lines — separating people based on perceived righteousness. This perspective may vary widely, but for me, this pattern was real and impactful. Walking away from Christianity allowed me to shed some of the restrictive views I grew up with, and I feel like a better person for it. However, I can’t ignore the impact of these teachings on others, and for me, seeing the harm and continuing down the same path feels deeply problematic.