I’m a man. Only ever dated, been attracted to women. Recently I met this guy and I’m having weird feelings. I can’t quite tell if I’m attracted to him as a person or just like the way he treats me; nonetheless something makes me want to treat him differently than any other guys - the way I would a girl I suppose. My friends say I might be attracted to femininity in general regardless of gender and that’s why I feel this way, and the reason why it hasn’t surfaced until now is because I haven’t yet met a guy to tick those boxes. Wondering if anyone has been through something similar.
Its like a math question. You need to show your working, even if you guess the right answer, or you don’t get full marks for it.
Yep, have been doing so for a few years now. I’m happily married to a woman so it’s somewhat irrelevant what my feelings towards men and NB people are.
But fi you’re single and the guy is open to dating give it a shot.
Yeah, I did for a long time in my late teens. I thought I was attracted to girls because that was the ‘default’. But the second dating a guy became an option, I realised that the thought of it made me way more excited. I was totally in denial before that too - like I’d look at fetish porn with male actors and think ‘oh I’m just interested in this fetish, the gender isn’t important here’. Nope, I like guys.
I’d say that I’m more attracted to feminine looking guys. I guess if you’re interested in exploring these feelings there’s no harm in asking this guy how they feel and see where things go.
Btw, questioning things is usually a healthy thing to do. And sexually or attraction is complex. For some people it’s also (or more) about personality and less about body features. Or it’s multiple factors. You can be attracted to more than one gender. It’s a wide bandwidth. And there’s a lot of different things out there. You do you.
No, but I’ve questioned why I’m still virgin and never dated.
In the teenage boy caught in the hyper masculine world of American highschool? Yes.
In the actualized adult trying to understand myself and the world? Also yes.
I was curious, so my friend who bi let me go down on him. It was not my thing lol. Cunilingus, however 🤤
Only when my wife gets out her strap-on.
I can recognise attractive men but haven’t ever really had a crush on one. French kissed one of my gay pals on his birthday like 10 years ago but that’s the limit of my experiences. Embarassingly vanilla!
I tend to find myself attracted to kind, not aggressive men. I don’t think of them as feminine men. They can be quite masculine and still kind and not aggressive.
I was a feminine man, now I’m a trans woman. I still mostly find women attractive, because men tend to be socialized to be aggressive and I don’t like aggressive energy.
One of these kind, non-aggressive men, the first man I was ever attracted to, is still a dear friend of mine and dating a trans woman himself now. I believe our deep love for each other is something that helped us both to accept ourselves. Even though we’ve never been romantically involved with each other.
I think anybody who says they haven’t questioned their sexuality is likely to be lying. Then again, we’re all biased by our lived experiences and I’ve spent a lot of time questioning things, so I could be projecting.
At the end of the day I want to say to like who you like. What happens between consenting adults is nobody’s business but theirs, and the sun isn’t going to implode because you dig on a girly dude.
Hell, you don’t even need to put a label on your sexuality. Or your gender for that matter, although that’s a whole different can of worms.
Depending on where you are, you might be growing up alongside harmful anti-queer rhetoric. That kind of thing makes it very difficult for a lot of people to admit their sexuality with any degree of nuance. People living in fear will lie to their friends, family, and selves in order to hide their attractions. It’s sad and harmful, and it also makes it difficult for some people to be open about sometimes liking a person that is outside what they believe society expects of them.
You guys should get coffee or something. I wouldn’t pass up on a chance to learn more about myself
Not really. Never felt anything else than being straight, as I’ve never felt any inclination towards liking guys, and for as long as I can remember I’ve always liked women, including in that way that gave me that funny feeling in my pants when I was very young.
Sexuality may be a spectrum, but my location on it is a very simple one.
Identify as straight. F1nn5ter could absolutely get it.
Yes, quite a bit. I was struggling to find the right label. But at some point I switched to the mindset, that a label is a description, not a rule, and that i shouldn’t have to worry who I do or don’t like. Right now I’m in the “meh, I’m fine, thanks” camp, but it might change any time.
I’m gay and I’ve never questioned my sexuality.
