Hi I might loose my job tomorrow. For the most Part of my Life i was able to fit in with society. All-ways while ignoring my own mental health. Aka Masking I was diagnosed ADHD when i was a kid, but never got Meds or a treatment back then.
I tried to go to therapy since spring last Year now to get some help, but it takes so long to get any diagnosis or help. I suspect a autism-ADHD combination.
The last few moths i feel quit depressed, (not super dark, just empty and sad) Now today after working for over 10 years and changing field recently its likely coming to an End, i can’t keep the facade up. Work from Monday-Friday 8-5 is to much for me. I had an event with the co-workers last week, and i got drunk and was told to leave to not disturb the other people there. Why can’t i be myself in this world, i disagree with so much that is the standard in this world. This job went against my principles, yet i went there and did my best, but it was not enough, it never is, darkness always shines trough. Anyway i except them to clear my desk and make me leave after they know how i tick. Any suggestions what to do next?
Tell them, you cannot keep up your masquerade anymore. You need to slow down a bit. They shall accept you with your quirks when being yourself. You might insult people occasionally, but you don’t mean it that way.
careful! unless i’m absolutely confident i can trust my employer, i wouldn’t trust completely opening up to them. maybe i’d talk to coworkers i trust before i make a decision to open up, and even then, i would just deliver enough information to make them feel some sympathy and maybe take it easier with me
first of all, don’t assume the worst right away. you got drunk, you got annoying, it happens even to neurotypicals. you might get scolded, you might get a formal warning, you might even hear nothing at all. you might of course be fired, but don’t assume that’s the only and most certain possibility right away
when you’re less freaked out about being fired, think about how you’re going to deal with social events from now on. assume you’re not among friends when you’re around coworkers and start figuring out the bare minimum you need to do to make them (and perhaps most importantly, your bosses/superiors) feel like you were present and socialized. once you feel your job is complete, leave immediately. during normal workdays, interact as little as possible with coworkers but again measure if you need to interact a little to keep your boss happy.
it’s not easy and it’s still gonna drain you, but remember that you don’t need to appear like your average neurotypical coworker. do the bare minimum, then leave
if possible, try to spend time with or even just open up to people you care about and trust. i know it doesn’t come easy to us, but community is one of the most important things for anyone’s mental health
here’s hoping you keep your job tomorrow and are able to keep your shit together regardless of the result. sending lots of hugs 🫂
That event with your coworkers where you got drunk; you touched someone inappropriately, didn’t you?
Because you are being purposefully vague, I’m not sure it’s because you harassed someone or not. Many reasons to fire someone, but very few reasons to suddenly fire people immediately like what happened to you. So this makes me suspicious.
So, OP, confess. What the fuck happened?
No, no harrassement, just try to turn down the Volumen of the band(that was closest to my) aka “manipulate things of other people”, and basicly the boss i don’t agree with there way of doing things. And complaining. And the Reason is “break of trust”
Follow up: jep, got fired. get paid until the end of this month. Thank you for you’re comments
Hey friend, your next chapter begins, I know because I’ve seen a few chapters in my life. Everything happens for a reason, driven by a destiny outside of your control, almost always positive in the long term. You might feel miserable in the moment, but it’ll all be better 99.9% of the time, just keep your head up, you got this, hugs.
damn that sucks
hope you manage to get another job soon and that you get the emotional support you need to go through unemployment