• ramius345@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    Just try “wanna fuck?” Surprisingly effective. The other commenters knee grinding trick is also very effective.

    • TheLowestStone
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      4 days ago

      Back when we first started dating I told my now wife, “If you’re horny, don’t try to be subtle. Just grab my dick.”

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        4 days ago

        Pretty much all women should take this advice.

        Being subtle will regularly, if not almost always be missed. Us dudes are too wrapped up in whatever dumb shit we’re thinking about to notice the subtlety. Grabbing my dick, definitely gets my attention. If you don’t know what to say, just grab a dick.

        We’ll let you know if there’s any reason not to, but bluntly, few things are so important that they need to be finished before getting freaky.

    • ThePyroPython
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      3 days ago

      As a kinky nerd looking for another kinky nerd, I agree. M straight switch if anyone’s interested haha.

  • Of the Air (cele/celes)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 days ago

    No. Because your first mistake was calling it “naughty”. When it’s perfectly valid, acceptable and shouldn’t be seen as out of the ordinary or somehow ‘bad’. 😜

    Feel free to try again though~ 😏😉

  • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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    3 days ago

    “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.”

    Innuendo is nice.

    Works for everyone, good mix of cheeky and bold, while not being too graphical and leaves room for escape routes.

    I was the recipient of this one in my teens and it snapped into reality very quick.

    Yes, I was that oblivious.

    • kewwwiOP
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      3 days ago

      artist name is kitte / kittesan

  • gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    4 days ago

    That’s the awkward moment that i would like to just put my legs on their lap, but then i remember that the government released laws against sexual harassment and i don’t know how to put my emotions into words to ask a question.

  • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    4 days ago

    "Ye, always wanna, but been beaten down in the past by people I’ve dated with a lower sex drive than I who used to chide me for horni, so now I don’t make a move every time or else it’d be like 2x daily.

    Feel free to make a move on me any time though, I won’t say no (unless you’re trying to use it to manipulate me into no longer being mad at you for doing something without actually apologizing, then I’ll say no out of pure spite)!"

  • Scott_of_the_Arctic
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    4 days ago

    As a guy (and i definitely speak for all guys), just scratch your crotch/balloon knot and jam your fingers in his mouth. Instant stiffy.

      • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        4 days ago

        Yogurt.

        Ha. Didn’t think about that, did you? Your small mind simply can’t perceive soft, unchewable yogurt. Now you look like an IDIOT on the INTERNET! What’ll you do now, Light Yagami?!

        • PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4 days ago

          CURSES! Foiled again! My intricate and devious traps were sprung by delicious yogurt! I will just have so stew and plan our next battle over some more yogurt.

          • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            4 days ago

            My superior mind knew you would say this. I’ve calculated all possible histories extending from this point. There will be no further battles.

            Okay, that part is good. Google stop text to talk. Google stop text to talk. God damn it. Stupid fucking hello computer. I’m doing great, thanks. None. My superior mind knew you would say this. I’ve calculated my total is 71.94 dollars while in line and already have the correct amount in my hand. I’ve also procured my ID in the other. Your slow mind may not have caught up to this fact yet, but I have dos equis approaching you on the conveyor. If I am not in fact 21, this may be your final transaction. What will you do, Isabella?