- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion
Wonder if there’s a spin cycle. Ha.
Seriously though. This should really help the elderly or those with a physical limitation.
“According to company spokeswoman Sachiko Maekura, the new machine not only cleans the body but also “washes the soul,” using sensors to monitor the user’s heartbeat and vital signs throughout the process”
Corpo speak for " People kept drowning so we added sensors"
The idea of just relaxing in a pod while listening to music and getting a full body clean without any effort does sound pretty great to me. It even dries you off which is even more awesome.
This sounds fun tbh.
Japan? Like, the country of Japan made this?
Honestly wild. Like did they all turn a screw once? Big git repo?
If it works like the washing machine in Gattaca, there is a neat risk that it doesn’t end well.
I recommand to watch this -now old- movie by the way
Gattaca is an amazing movie that surprisingly still holds up.
Kinda muddy on the idea behind the showers. I read somewhere that they weren’t really about killing the occupant, but it was suggested that it might be a reference to the furnaces used in the Nazi death camps in WW2 and the eugenics associated with the Nazis.
It sounds nice, but I think this is a wash.
Ha! I see what you did there.
Interesting idea. Seriously over-engineered though.
If you want a ‘human washer’ you don’t need a $350k fancy chair with heart rate monitors. Just take a page out of the automatic car wash.
Human stands in a stall. Shower allows human washing of hair and face. Then just hold arms out making a diamond in front of you (think TSA body scanner position, but with arms forward instead of upward) and a 360° robotic sprayer starts at the neck and goes down spraying soapy water, then back up again with a slight up angle to get the groin and armpits. Shower comes back on to de-shampoo hair, then the same 360 robot does two passes with clean water to rinse everything off.
If you get fancy with machine vision and body position sensors, the 360 wand could flip 90° to do the hair and would be angled backward a bit so it doesn’t get water or soap in your face.
You could build this for a lot less than $350k. And instead of $1500 worth of body sensors you have a $50 waterproof emergency stop button.
Human stands in a stall
You already missed the target demographic in the first sentence of your “solution”.
This is what happens when you only read the headline.
How so?
I think there’s two different approaches to this. This chair is obviously designed as a luxury experience, as the process takes a full 15 minutes.
My idea is designed for efficiency, to reduce the amount of time it takes to bathe in the morning without reducing cleanliness.There are many people who have to bathe sitting down (e.g. the elderly). Something like the device mentioned in the article would be useful for such people, especially if mobility issues make it difficult for them to clean themselves.
That’s why I said, different approaches.
My approach is targeted at somebody who just wants to get clean as quickly as possible, and the machine can help them do that faster and with less effort than a manual shower.
If you are going for luxury, or if you need help doing it like an elderly person, then the sit-down submerging spa is absolutely the way to go.
These might become a thing in the US when some vapid influencer acts smug toward ‘dirty people’ who can’t afford one.
So a car wash?
Solving a non-existent problem. Excellent!
OP has a point though:
Seriously though. This should really help the elderly or those with a physical limitation.
And possibly even depressed people, too

Please step into the Science to be cleansed, human
§cience
Wcgw?
Looks like those assisted suicide pods. I can imagine a mixup during a sitcom leading to shenanigans.
All I wanted was a slow painful death.

Heyyyy! Who switched the labels on the pods?
laugh track
Now who’s going to clean up Gene?
laugh track
And explain it to his family?
laugh track intensifies
Rob, can you show up to Gene’s wedding pretending to be him while we figure this out?
Weekend at Gene’s
I Dream Of Geney
Gene Gene Death Machine
Just put Gene in the washing pod right next door.

I mean judo is the art of folding clothes while people are still wearing them, why not wash them first.
Judo is more focussed on throwing and grappling than it is on joint locks and holds, or “folding”.
The more you know.
I see that you know your judo well.
Saw the YT video for this a while back (~15 mins) and thought it mostly a nostalgic throwback to the stuff we saw or hoped for in the 80s and 90s. If “how can we charge rent for this?” hadn’t come along and destroyed innovation, anyway.
It seems more like a proof of concept, as it just fills soapy water up past the seal line, shows progress and wildlife scenes on screen (which will definitely be used to advertise at you eventually), sprays your face and other bits above the water line, drains, and then blow dries you. You’d still need to scrub, and wash your back, butt, etc.
I was kind of hoping for one of those sonic/pulsing water/jet-wash/scrubbing shower things you see in SF. This isn’t it.
But it is great that some companies are still innovating. It’s been a while.









