After yesterday thrilling battle and tactical abscond John’s in his living room. He has the SBURB beta and needs to get back to his computer. I guess he’s not concerned that his dad would pop over and try to have a chat about what happened.

Of course John is following the will of the audience and that means he is going to lose focus and faff about.

So we get a quick lesson about how to NOT merge items in a stack. If you want to merge something in a stack the items need to be next to each other in the stack. So in an attempt to combine two cakes he managed to also merge 3 other items forming a mess. I know it’s only Betty Crocker cake mix. Which I can get from a dollar store. But, I can’t abide wasting cake :(

John decides to go to the bathroom to try and extract useful items from the cake mess. There are some interesting things there. This enforces John’s part of Homestuck being a coming of age story. This has nothing to do with the bathroom itself. But, his fond memories with backyard swing-set and pogo-ride. At 13 he’s likely at an age where he is considering growing out of such things. These are also his fathers straight razor. A razor being a symbol of manhood. Straight razors are tough, I used one of those for years and bled a lot.

Anyway John uses the razor and a towel to get the package, SBURB beta, and PDA. He also gets the razor and towel though somehow not dirtied with cake. He also destroyed his toilet clogging it with cake. Poor cake. Then he goes back to his room. I mean that seems to be the only toilet in the house. That’s a terrible state to leave it in.

It was at this point shown why A Time to Kill and Failure to Launch are on John’s wall. It’s all McConaughey. I had forgotten John was a fan of his, and several other actors. Though this is a “man-bro crush” according to certain experts. I’ve always been terrible at associating actors with the roles they play in movies.

We also got a message from John’s 3rd friend. He only has 3, which is a lot these days. gardenGnostic [GG], they were wishing John a happy birthday but it seems John missed them. They seem lovely and are one of my favourite characters because I haven’t read beyond cannon.

turntechGodhead [TG] also is chatting. Mostly, TG is insulting John for his decor, and terrible modulus and does not wish to actually play SBURB. It seems he’s been drinking the GameBro Kool Aid pretty hard. We end with John visiting mspaintadventures.com in an act of 4th wall breaking meta.