I don’t see how is this LAMF? Please explain what the leopard is here, and whose face is getting eaten.

Uh, I hate to break it to you, but this is exactly what’s happening in places to get land for data centers.

https://fortune.com/2026/07/19/data-center-eminent-domain-public-use/

That exists already, actually: GridCoin

That’s the one who transitioned, right?

In the interim, Heroic Launcher is a viable alternative on Linux, since it’s got integration with GOG and a wine/proton manager built in. So it’ll automatically download the game and set up the prefix. It also does the same for Epic, but who give a shit about them.

Makes sense, Pandora was created specifically to fuck over the mortals (reminder once again that ancient Greece was super misogynist, hence of course it’d be a woman saddled with the role). Of course the gods would stick the world’s ills in an easy to open container.

The point of getting an MBA isn’t to demonstrate competence, but to spend years immersing yourself in the incestuous networking that the business caste actually cares about.

Oh, they absolutely made combat easier in this game. Aside from the easier hidden blade counter window, kill streaks let you instantly kill all the enemies that you can’t normally counter. It’s possible to get over a thousand kills in the flawless virtual training mode simply because the enemies have no opportunity to hit you between your counters and kill streaks. Revelations dials it back by making the janissaries impossible to instantly kill in combat, which ends your kill streaks and forces you to actually fight them.

I’ll freely admit that I’m a terrible pick to ask about the parkour, sorry. Aside from the obvious improvement between AC1 and AC2, I’m intellectually aware that the parkour has been changed multiple times (certainly at least once per engine change), but during actual gameplay the parkour has never really felt different enough for me to notice, and Mirage is no exception. Like, I guess I noticed the more flashy animations in Unity and Syndicate compared to before, and I’m aware that people have complained about it feeling floatier in those games, but that all just goes right over my head.

Honestly, man, I have no idea what’s even going on with the modern day story anymore. Unity and Syndicate were already super light on modern day stuff (something about deep diving the Animus/Helix for… reasons?), and the only one I’ve played since was Mirage, which somehow has even less (William does a voice over at the very start of the game, and that’s it).

Crimson Skies on Xbox was actually Crimson Skies 2. Crimson Skies 1 on PC was a completely different game. Still great if you like less arcade-like flight sims, though.

Speaking of time shenanigans and AC3, that game had the most bonkers example at the very end, where Minerva has a real-time argument with Desmond and Juno despite being a recording. Too bad Ubi kinda just forgot about it afterwards as they tried to pivot the modern day story to “Ancients in the PRESENT DAY oooooo…”, which itself got killed by Unity’s disastrous launch and Syndicate being kinda lackluster.

IIRC, the DLCs were basically “we interrupt this 10 year timeskip between Ezio finally being properly inducted as an Assassin and fist fighting the Pope to bring you an adventure in Forli and the bonfire of the vanities”.

Well, he promised to start a pogrom on brown people. He delivered on that, at least.

Why not dip the toothbrush in the cup of water you’ll use to rinse your mouth with? Unless you rinse directly from the tap by sticking your face under the faucet or something.

Digital distribution of games was a mistake.

These people generally come in two flavors:

1. they’re too fucking stupid to recognize the hypocrisy to begin with
2. they recognize the hypocrisy, and view it as a flex on everyone who isn’t a raging cunt

Betrayal! From my own nephew!

Can’t be, though. Pigeon lady saved the day.

I can never pull it off in AC1 because the timing window is so tight, but countering with the hidden blade is an instant kill and looks cool as fuck. I’m really glad that they tweaked the combat for the Ezio games to make all the weapons equally viable, though.

On a related note: the fact that your health bar also measures synchronization means that a 100% sync run involves never getting hit, which further implies that it’s possible that Altair somehow managed to pick fights with every guard in the region using only the hidden blade and win every time without a scratch.