Ya my parents kept saying I was a picky eater when I was a kid but it turns out that too much oil, too much salt, too much sugar, too much anything makes everything taste bad

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I’m not a lawyer or judge but by my calculations, that’s still 145 life sentences too short

Finally, I don’t have to be alone anymore

Best I can do is spanish dubloons inside a dried lion sack

It’s saturday so we may have to wait until monday for the transaction to go through. I will keep you updated.

Nah, screw that little ungrateful bastard. I’m gonna fuck his mom in retaliation!

I’d probably be wondering if I was a shitty parent for them to hide that. Though the paradox is that a shitty parent/person wouldn’t have the self reflection needed to come to that conclusion.

I don’t think modern is a synonym of future

I love that people are asking me if I have some kind of visual deficiency when the phenomenon of blinding lights is so common that it’s in the simpsons from 27 years ago lol

Can you start complaining about some generous stranger suddenly putting 500 million in my bank account?

26% on rotten tomatoes but 4.5/5 on amazon? Well…I guess I may as well watch it…

Highlander rules. The winner takes the losers headlights and adds them onto their monster truck.

Thank god, I’ve been sick of this shit for over a decade. I don’t know who would vote against dimmer lights. Do you have a link for this poll?

Haha Ms. Morrison, look at me now!!! Ask me what 285 + 485 ÷ 29 is BITCH!