In the last year or so I started to see so many people of my age that have done truly incredible things and still doing more.
For the vast majority of my life my only goals were gettimg academic satisfaction and doing unproductive stuff in the free time to get temporary pleasure. No end goal whatsoever.
I kind of don’t know what I’ve been doing in the last 17 years while someone gets a patent on solar systems, other invents a new recyclable plastic, and another found a successful startup. I mean, they all find what they’re supposed to be doing with their lives and excel in them.
I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people. Yet I don’t like the way the things are and I can’t do anything but envy those people.
Anyone with experience in this regard? How did you deal with this? Did you eventually “pace up” with these people or was it too late or an unattainable goal?
Edit: Whoops, I didn’t expect so many replies! Thanks, I’ll look into them all
My world view might have become too materialistic. But I just want more prestige, satisfaction, validation. More and more of it. Yes I probably won’t ever feel “this is enough” because it requires a constant gradient of growth.
I’m not sure I even want to be happy. What even is meant by happiness? No, I know what happiness is. It just doesn’t feel meaningful anymore, all these emotions. Like, nothing that makes me happy actually matter to me. I never feel happy for doing what I actually need. I don’t feel happy while preparing food but I feel happy but only when I sit down and eat the food, even though eating food wasn’t the harder part that I must be focused on. Happiness feels like mind’s bait that is so addicting everyone is hooked on and want more of it. Some experiences admittedly contribute to me saying this as well
I don’t really want to feel anything sad or happy, but focus on work.
Also for number 4, I really believe there are some objectively good and objectively bad decisions. I can see so many of the bad decisions I made it’s too hard to ignore, and things that have implications to my personal life. When I want to do something, it turns out I’m too late. Or I have to do much more effort others don’t have to spend. Or I make an effort on wrong things that have no benefit to me. And I can see what I should’ve been doing by looking at some people.
My reply might be kinda too contrasting to what you’re saying but I’d like to hear your thoughts as well.