You wouldn’t want to see an angry seal penis anyway. Or maybe you would? You dodged a bullet. Or maybe you didn’t?

I have the most typical penis. Nothing special. I’ll describe it if you want. Just your average everyday penis. Now you’re curious. I’m sorry.

I’ll describe it.

Tip like a mushroom, shaft like a stem. Balls where the mycelium would normally be, but not buried. Just hanging out above ground. Mostly black hair, a few grays scattered in. A few inches from an asshole with a prominent hemorrhoid scar. Mostly soft, but occasionally not so soft. Has produced more offspring than is typical. Vasectomy incoming.

Hope that helps.