For now your best bet to remove the porn and keep the rest of the nsfw stuff is probably to just join an instance that defederated the porn instances. I know even the admins on lemmynsfw don’t want their stuff showing up on all but right now there is no way to prevent that in Lemmy. I think there is a PR to fix that being worked on but right now there are far to many parts of Lemmy that are still on fire for that to be a priority.

As far as the porn goes yeah it sucks. I think thats why a lot of guys are so against OF models in general. Most of the most prolific OF models post the same generic straight-male-gazy cookie cutter content and they post it everywhere to reach the widest audience. I’m not judging them for it; they have to do that if they want to make any actual money. Generic straight men are the largest customer base and it’s a competitive market. With amateurs they don’t need to be concerned about attracting the largest audience so they are free to be more varied and not spam their content. Of course actual legitimate verified amateur content is much much more rare but without all the straight-male-gazey OF spam it would be easier to find. A lot of guys seem to take not being able to find their prefered smut personally.

I wish I could find stuff on AO3. I personally can’t enjoy any fanfic which eliminates most of the site. Most of the origional works on there seems to be incest, dead dove, or similar which is not my thing so that eliminates most of what’s left. Then the remaining normal origional works are mostly gay which is just personally not my thing.