The dialog makes more sense, but the narrative flow is wrong. Interesting to see this version and ponder how much the later edit saved the scene and heightened tension.
The dialog makes more sense, but the narrative flow is wrong. Interesting to see this version and ponder how much the later edit saved the scene and heightened tension.
Yeah, that’s the part that doesn’t work. Even if they needed to cram the exposition in between the world-changing call to action and the hero’s refusal, you have to tie them together and give then some stakes: “Before I decide anything, you need to tell me WTF she’s talking about” or the like. But then you need more dialogue and it changes the tone of the scene.
It tracks better to have us drop in on the almost completed exposition conversation/rest and recovery after the sand people attack, before jumping into the next crisis.