Thanks bitofhope for talking to me, I really appreciate it. So if I understand correctly, the problem of my post is me calling it a bit weird to concieve a child with someone random, right?

As someone who was in that position, I had to think about this topic a lot. I think it is very important for pairs with a child from donor sperm or egg or for those who adopt to understand that the child will have different genetic dispositions from them and understand all the implications. Genetics do play a role in people’s lives.

I understand me calling it weird may sound off. I just feel a bit strange about it - not to have the ability to chose - not just rationally, but also to let my subconscious decide whether the partner is psychologically compatible with me (many psychological aspects are genetic), to let my nose decide whether they’re immunologically compatible… When you’re in that position, you have to think about all these things and either decide to have a baby with someone random or not to have a baby at all.

Getting to decide at least something, even if it’s not very relevant, like the biological father’s job, feels like having just a little bit of control and can be psychologically important to the pair.

That is my personal anecdotal experience, of course, some people might feel quite differently about these things.