A really good friend showed me a personal essay and asked for my honest opinion. She was looking to enter a contest, so I wanted to give her some good feedback to make her writing stand out.
But as it turned out, this was her final draft, and she was really just looking for affirmation that she’s a good writer.
The essay needed a lot of work. But when I gave my friend a list of the things that needed to be fixed, she got so upset that she deleted the draft and didn’t enter the contest at all. Now I feel terrible.
What should I have done differently? How do you gently break the news to someone that theor writing needs a lot of work?
I do think I was too harsh. But I also didn’t want her to enter the contest without having a stellar piece.
I’ve always been very critical with both myself and others. I, personally, don’t like it when people give me all positive feedback and no negative because I don’t get any valuable ideas about how to improve.
To me, launching into a laundry list of negatives feels natural. But I’m starting to wonder whether most people might not feel the same. I’ll have to try to be more sensitive in the future.