Every account you ever had, every post/comment you ever posted, now has your real name, a photo of you, and your address, all just magically show up on the webpage right next to each of your posts/comments (also, no “hacking” could hide the info). All deleted posts/comments are magically restored and nothing you do (short of permanently shutting down the website and physical destruction of the servers) can delete them. (Any edits would still show every change you made.) How fucked are you?
And don’t think about changing your name, or moving, all this info updates in real time. (for “magic” reason)
(You also cannot delete any future posts.)
Yeah, some suspicions about my level of motivation at work would be confirmed, and my perfectly adequate but kinda basic neighbors might realize it’s not just my being awkward AF that keeps me from hanging out more, but that’s probably the worst of it. Half the things I delete are to make it slightly harder to dox me than it is now, and most of the rest are things I’ve said elsewhere but don’t feel like defending point-by-point in that particular thread.