“I knew something was up when my dreams started featuring detailed technical analysis of crypto charts,” said Rodriguez. “Also, my brain now automatically smashes the like button on every single Elon Musk tweet about cryptocurrency, even at 3 AM when I’m supposedly in REM sleep. Yesterday I woke up to discover I’d somehow given rocket emojis to 147 posts about Dogecoin.”

$100% real, totes mcgoats.

By the way, I’ve been looking for someone interested in buying a bridge.