I am a Millennial woman. For most of my life, my closest friends have been men. I believe this is because many of my hobbies are considered traditionally male (such as contact sports or history). I also studied in STEM and have prioritized my career over finding a partner whereas most of the women in my area tend to stay in the city for most of their life (go to school, work, marry, have kids, etc.). So, I fully acknowledge that a large part of my problem is my own fault.
I’ve found that even if I reach out to female friends, they don’t respond back or reach out to me so whatever relationship there is fizzles out.
Is there something I am doing wrong? Are there topics which women commonly discuss which I could learn about so I can contribute more to conversations?
Personally my hypothesis is that the women I meet are close with the friends in their area so they don’t need to maintain friendships with women they aren’t close with (literally or figuratively) whereas my male friends have largely moved for work and perhaps since we’re all lonely, we make more of an effort to stay in touch even though we’re in different parts of the world. The solution I can think of is to stop moving around so often and stay in one place.
I really do crave friendships with women and would love someone to do Pilates with, discuss fashion or go shopping, go for brunch with, or any other activity which I do with my male friends (sports, museums, etc.). I just can’t seem to get a message back.
Thanks in advance for any tips/advice.
It depends on the group. There was a casual yoga thing in my hometown where after they would all go for a coffee. Some people arent into that and do just want to do it and go home, but others like getting out and socialising after. Unfortunately theres no hard and fast rules. Women are just people, people vary a whole lot in likes, dislikes, and what topics they like to talk about. Ive seen heaps of comments from people of all kinds all over the internet and making friends in general gets much harder after university. And harder again once kids, jobs and relationships get in the mix.
But you could just try a casual hello, before yoga/pilates. If they are receptive give chatting a go and once class starts go do your own thing. Little hellos and casual small talk can build familiarity where you can see if they might be up for being friends.