In the subreddit people have been talking like him not being married and not having kids is a “symptom” of his alcoholism and like. no? I disagree with that 100%. I can understand how it might be a factor into why he hasn’t been dating anybody in a serious way and why he’s been lonely for a while, but like… being single doesn’t mean being abusive, or “not being mature enough”, especially given how a whole lot of immature people get married, have kids and then do some real dumb shit.
Being depressed and with an anxiety disorder, I can understand it looks like arrested development, but I also fully think people with the level of trauma Ben went through (and I’ve had some kinda similar types of trauma) develop in a different way. As in, we don’t “just stop developing”, we just develop in a different direction. His direction seems to have been, unfortunately, abuse and self-isolation (the latter of which I am VERY familiar with). Possibly, self-punishment too, in some ways.
Which is why I can’t hate him. I hate abuse, I hate that he hasn’t really addressed anything in a serious way, but he’s only been in rehab for like, less than a month, and for him to realize, as he’s said, that drinking was a coping mechanism (and yes, from the outside it seems obvious, but sometimes figuring these things out can actually be really hard unless someone else points it out, and I know that by experience) actually seems like a VERY positive sign. It means he’s seeing someone competent enough to make him look into his trauma instead of trying to drown it.
I really have hope for him to figure himself out and heal in a healthier way. I do hope he does.
I’m not a big buff tall man (the opposite actually) and I obviously also empathize with and believe the victims (since I have ALSO been abused in a similar way and have also been on the receiving end of definitely creepy and sexually charged attentions and assault and I’ve doubted and gaslit myself in a similar way) so I’m in the middle since I literally see both sides, but I do hope he actually gets better and becomes able to face himself and reach a better balance, AND I hope Taylor and the other victims will also be able to heal and not be haunted, and I hope they are receiving help as well.
I don’t particularly wish for Ben to come back because Ed works so much better, imo, but… I’ve had a good time with him on the show. I don’t really have a parasocial relationship with any of these people, but I do have to say I’ve felt a sense of being understood by all three of them. Which is why this whole thing feels really difficult to conciliate with, but overall I really really do hope they’re going to all be okay at some point. I wish the best for Ben, Henry, Marcus, Taylor, every other host (former and current) of the network, and I don’t have any ill feelings or particular expectations to know EVERYTHING about the ins and outs of this story. I believe the victims, and I also believe that Henry and Marcus didn’t know about the extent of all this - I do believe Taylor told Henry and Natalie, I also believe she didn’t tell them all the deets because I know the sense of shame and actually if everything she said is true, I really admire how fast she acted and how much she trusted them to not disregard her allegation. Unless some proof comes out ofc, but that’s neither here nor there.
Anyway this was all to say, someone being single doesn’t necessarily mean being immature, it doesn’t mean being an incel, matter of fact I’m single and I wouldn’t have it any other way because frankly I don’t care, never did and I can say pretty confidently that I never will. Just like I don’t care about bungee jumping. It says nothing about my level of maturity or anything of that sort.
Just didn’t wanna start shit on Reddit.
In the subreddit people have been talking like him not being married and not having kids is a “symptom” of his alcoholism and like. no? I disagree with that 100%. I can understand how it might be a factor into why he hasn’t been dating anybody in a serious way and why he’s been lonely for a while, but like… being single doesn’t mean being abusive, or “not being mature enough”, especially given how a whole lot of immature people get married, have kids and then do some real dumb shit. Being depressed and with an anxiety disorder, I can understand it looks like arrested development, but I also fully think people with the level of trauma Ben went through (and I’ve had some kinda similar types of trauma) develop in a different way. As in, we don’t “just stop developing”, we just develop in a different direction. His direction seems to have been, unfortunately, abuse and self-isolation (the latter of which I am VERY familiar with). Possibly, self-punishment too, in some ways. Which is why I can’t hate him. I hate abuse, I hate that he hasn’t really addressed anything in a serious way, but he’s only been in rehab for like, less than a month, and for him to realize, as he’s said, that drinking was a coping mechanism (and yes, from the outside it seems obvious, but sometimes figuring these things out can actually be really hard unless someone else points it out, and I know that by experience) actually seems like a VERY positive sign. It means he’s seeing someone competent enough to make him look into his trauma instead of trying to drown it. I really have hope for him to figure himself out and heal in a healthier way. I do hope he does.
I’m not a big buff tall man (the opposite actually) and I obviously also empathize with and believe the victims (since I have ALSO been abused in a similar way and have also been on the receiving end of definitely creepy and sexually charged attentions and assault and I’ve doubted and gaslit myself in a similar way) so I’m in the middle since I literally see both sides, but I do hope he actually gets better and becomes able to face himself and reach a better balance, AND I hope Taylor and the other victims will also be able to heal and not be haunted, and I hope they are receiving help as well. I don’t particularly wish for Ben to come back because Ed works so much better, imo, but… I’ve had a good time with him on the show. I don’t really have a parasocial relationship with any of these people, but I do have to say I’ve felt a sense of being understood by all three of them. Which is why this whole thing feels really difficult to conciliate with, but overall I really really do hope they’re going to all be okay at some point. I wish the best for Ben, Henry, Marcus, Taylor, every other host (former and current) of the network, and I don’t have any ill feelings or particular expectations to know EVERYTHING about the ins and outs of this story. I believe the victims, and I also believe that Henry and Marcus didn’t know about the extent of all this - I do believe Taylor told Henry and Natalie, I also believe she didn’t tell them all the deets because I know the sense of shame and actually if everything she said is true, I really admire how fast she acted and how much she trusted them to not disregard her allegation. Unless some proof comes out ofc, but that’s neither here nor there.
Anyway this was all to say, someone being single doesn’t necessarily mean being immature, it doesn’t mean being an incel, matter of fact I’m single and I wouldn’t have it any other way because frankly I don’t care, never did and I can say pretty confidently that I never will. Just like I don’t care about bungee jumping. It says nothing about my level of maturity or anything of that sort. Just didn’t wanna start shit on Reddit.