Something I’ve never been that great at is spontaneous conversation. I’m more than capable of public speaking if I’ve prepared something in advance. But if someone asks me something out of the blue, I really struggle to engage in deep conversation. Afterwards I’ll think to myself damn, why didn’t I bring up X or Y?
Half the time I don’t know what to add and I struggle to think of what to say. Sometimes words feel like they’re on the tip of my tongue and I can’t get them out, especially when I’m under pressure. And in group conversations, I find it hard to interject when I do think of a point. By the time a natural break comes along, the conversation has moved on.
I’d love to get better at this. What can I do to improve?
I’ve always interpreted it to mean somewhat the opposite of what you describe. To me: passive listening would be sitting quietly until a person is done speaking and then taking your turn. Actively listening would involve the occasional, and obviously respectful interruption with clarifying questions or anecdote to indicate that you are going along with them on the journey, rather than reading about it, so to speak.