Hey lemmos, and lemmettes. Just got off jury duty for a 3 day civil trial. First time juror, had a BLAST despite my expectations, really enjoyable to see a functioning justice system in person, and I also met cute gal also early 20s who was on the jury.
Now some context, I have not had a date since my ex cheated back around the begining of COVID so ive basically lost any sembelece of self-confidence when it comes to flirting. I’m confident in myself as a person, I’m pretty rad if I’m not being modest, but when it comes to chatting up the ladies, I mentally only can visualize rejection.
Now I was planning on asking her out for dinner or drinks this weekend following the case, but on the way out she was caught behind walking and talking with some other peeps. I got caught up in my anxious brain and just ended up bailing. Sent a FB messenger pm on the metra ride home but the profile is inactive so I think I missed my chance at a genuine connection.
Why is my monke brain like this. Why cant I let myself be happy. **All I want is to give somebody the love I can no longer seem to give myself. **
UPDATE: Connected over linkedin and gave it a shot. In a relationship :( . Still, glad that I tried, and thank you to all the commenters who helped settle my anxiety.
I have a Rift S mainly for occasional VR painting and some risque activities wink wink but havent gotten as heavily into other games like Beat Saber or “physical movement based” games.
A big factor I think is that partner or companionship like a trainer or friend to turn it from ‘working on myself’ to ‘just having a good time’. Problem is I don’t have any semblance of friends these days, and finding people who would be interested is hard since working out is many of their CENTRAL interest when looking.
I wish we had a like AA for people with a 4chan brain like me to reintegrate into a healthy lifestyle.