I do like large gatherings, but I don’t really do well meeting people and making friends in them. I find it too chaotic and difficult to “be myself” with so many people. I also feel there tends to be more shallow conversation in these settings making it great for banter and social energy but less great for connecting and getting to know new folks.
I am looking to meet new people to be friends, as in capital F friend, not just a random person I know. Someone who wants to hit me up and go do something fun, check in on me and see how I’m doing, etc.
How do you go about meeting people and finding social settings that foster deeper connections?
I think I read somewhere that friends are made at places where you’re both obligated to be. That’s why so many friends are made at school or uni, or later in life, work. Personally I tried stand up comedy and had success in meeting friends. Funny people like funny people. My brother found friends in theatre groups. My friend meets his mates at football clubs, and my partner meets her friends as a twitch streamer at meetups.
Yep, this rings true for me, as well. I’m in my 30s now, and pretty much all of my closest friends are people I either went to school with, or worked with. I can think of only one close friend that I met outside of these two circles, and meeting her at all was largely just chance, I think.
A big problem that a lot of people face these days is that they’re told to meet new people through shared interests; hobbies, clubs, and other activities outside of your obligated social duties. But for many of these people, myself included, the lack of a real “reason” to share those spaces doesn’t encourage meaningful conversation with people. Like OP mentioned, it’s largely just shallow small-talk that, while it satisfies that itch to socialize, doesn’t really build any meaningful, long-lasting connection with the other person.
I feel like this is the reason a lot of us turn to the internet. Places like Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, and now even here on Lemmy, seem to fill that void without requiring the social commitment of actually going to a place and being present in the moment. At least, that’s kinda how I see it, for my own self. Is it better or worse this way? I dunno, I’m nowhere near qualified to answer that.
Community theater is a great way to meet people. Go be in a play. It’s loads of fun.
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