having depression and a shit hormonal condition like PMDD to acommpanied with regular intervals is the worse ; at my lowest point appetite is GONE if i don’t get reminded to eat I just sleep until I feel not so garabe anymore
I used to struggle gaining weight. Before I was 28, I never weighed more than 119 at 5’7". People would always comment on how tiny I was and saying they wished they could be skinny like me. I’d tell them I have a high metabolism, which isn’t untrue, but I really wanted to tell them my secret was having massive bouts of depression where I only eat a handful of crackers or whatever at a time.
I have a bucket list in my phone and one of the items is “weigh more than 120 pounds.” I thought that once I achieved it, it meant I had finally beaten depression. The day I went to my annual physical and weighed in at 125 was one of the happiest days of my life. (Still depressed af though lol.)
Congrats on getting an item cross off your bucket list , you did well. I hope that means something to you even if it doesn’t make your depression better , you did a thing at least is something 🙆🏽
Absolutely! I’m still very proud of my achievement, of course!
Yup. My appetite goes away because of my adderall. It actually causes problems with my family believe it or not.
For some reason people get horribly offended if you don’t finish their food. Even if it’s clear that you’re just full or not feeling all that well.
Doesn’t help that I used to be heavier. So people always assume that I’m doing it because I don’t want to gain weight. Which in turn makes them push even more food towards me. It’s exhausting
I feel you~ eating as a social preformance, i get it. I got super good at it for the same reasons , but it just tiresome. Is a lot easier than arguing and less tiring , still feels like just another chore cheeping away at the depleting will to live.
( I want to say sorry for being so depressive but I guess if there is a place I’m allowed to be like this is here)
Honestly that’s exactly the way I feel about eating these days. It truly does feel like putting on a show.
The worst part is I want to put on that show if means I don’t have to feel guilty about not eating. However even if I try my best, sometimes it’s still not enough and they get pissed anyways.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. No one is ever pleased no matter how hard you to try.
PS: Never apologize for feeling the way you feel. Trust me I understand how hopeless life feels sometimes. I have my moments where I think about not being alive too.
You aren’t alone in that.
That was so kind , thank you for your words.
You’re welcome. Best of luck to you
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