• Dr. Wesker
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    8 months ago

    It’s always just a bunch of word salad.

    I sent them a memorandum to fineagle and reassess, along with my stamped proof of residual sentience, but they haven’t gotten back to me about my right to reconnoiter.

    • Naja Kaouthia
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      288 months ago

      Hey can I get you to co-sign my writ of certification certifying that I’m a former and current eukaryote?

      • Optional
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        198 months ago

        You mean a private, unincorporated natural graduated zygote? Oh absolutely. Just let me get the notary of Registror the Imperative and a gallon of matriculated justifier.

        • Naja Kaouthia
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          128 months ago

          Don’t forget to CC the Grand Admiral of the Ocean so he can certify my validity and bona fides for use in the Admirality Court.

    • @[email protected]
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      8 months ago

      That’s how magic spells sound to non-magic users. Like all magic their shit is also made up.

      • @[email protected]
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        38 months ago

        luckily us real magic users use the proper and serious terminology

        like “pinkily piggily dee, a fiddly tiddly tee, make me a sausage sandwich and a nice cuppa tea”

  • theodewere
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    658 months ago

    … by the doctrine of avoidable consequences

    that’s official government talk for “you’re a dumbass on purpose”

    • Tar_Alcaran
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      8 months ago

      And unclean hands, which is lawyer for “you did this to yourself”.

      And failure to mitigate, which is legalese for "and then you kept making it worse.

      And doctrine of laches, which is courtroom talk for “and then you proceeded to ignore the problem until is bit you in the ass, before you finally tried to sue.”

  • @Okokimup
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    608 months ago

    Is it a requirement that these native English speakers barely speak english?

    • @[email protected]
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      328 months ago

      Thanks for the extra details, I love their certainty the their process means there’s ‘no argument’. This guy’s going to get a fascinating leason in court.

      • @BonesOfTheMoonOPM
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        218 months ago

        They always assure each other they’re right, and they’re always wrong.

        • @[email protected]
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          78 months ago

          It rather brings to mind the quote from Pauli: “That is not only not right; it is not even wrong”, in that it’s such utter nonsense that it makes no sense in the context.

    • @SeabassDan
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      98 months ago

      yes, I did everything notarized

      what matters is the judge’s ruling

      Notary’s milking these guys dry, and the judge only matters until they rule against this poor dude.

  • Prestron
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    278 months ago

    Requesting dismissal with prejudice is just a great detail. If granted, and the plaintiff tries to bring another suit for the same events, they’ll basically be told to GTFO.

  • Granite
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    258 months ago

    Soooo he didn’t even go after the correct towing company.

    • @yuriy
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      228 months ago

      He probably named them individually in the suit in addition to the company. One could argue he’s alleging that the named parties all personally engaged in towing his vehicle.

      • @edgemaster72
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        198 months ago

        Classic SovCit “logic”, can’t be held responsible for their actions because that was the company set up in their name not their living person, but then tries to hold a company and other individual persons responsible for shit they don’t like

        • Tar_Alcaran
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          98 months ago

          It’s actually not that weird to do this. You just scattershot everyone involved and let them figure out who acted on behalf of whom. If you don’t, the company could just say “hey, these guys are self-employed and just lease our impound yard” and you’d have to file a whole new suit.

  • Optional
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    178 months ago

    That reminds me I need to run to the store to pick up some more silents.