“How are we supposed to pay slave wages if you force us to treat our employees independent contractors with a minimum level of decency? Think of the venture capital that could be lost if we don’t become profitable!”

Glad to see these companies are flailing. If you can’t afford to pay a minimum wage that keeps up with inflation then your company shouldn’t exist.

Yeah, fuck those companies. Though I did love back when Grubhub was constantly cranking out these ridiculous offers to lure customers in. That was kinda nice…

I mean, it makes complete sense that they’re fighting this hard once you realize their business models are only remotely viable because they exploit the fuck out of their workers.

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Oh how I want to see this completely fail. And more importantly to see the steam coming out of their ears when it does.

The linked WaPo article has a little more detail. Here’s the core of it:

DoorDash and Grubhub argue in a joint lawsuit that the rule is based on “inherently biased and unreliable survey data” and would hurt delivery drivers rather than help them.

If the rule goes through, the companies say, the increased costs would be passed on to consumers, which would result in fewer customers for delivery workers to deliver to and “injure its goodwill within the industry,” according to court filings.

In a separate lawsuit, Uber said the increased minimum wage would hurt local restaurants because the higher costs could dissuade customers from ordering.

I can’t even imagine being that fucking evil.