In highschool, a girl I fancied asked if we could play the awkward game, where the point is to make the other person feel awkward and bail.
Well her first two moves were taking off her bra under her shirt, pulling it out through the neck, and throwing it at me, and then sitting on my lap facing me.
I still did not get the hint.
I found out a few years later when she was going off to college and we were chilling on the couch reminiscing. No chance by then though for either of us.
Remember, when you ask yourself “how could you not understand that”, people like me exist.
Clearly taking someone at their word instead of trying to guess that they were actually throwing confusing hints is the dumbest thing anyone can do.
It could be worse, she could have really been goofing around and gotten into an argument when you acted on the ‘hints’ that you thought she was giving.
Thank you! Every time someone asks me “well why didn’t you make a move when X happened?”
Because I didn’t want to make the wrong guess and get pepper sprayed, punched, expelled, fired, whatever. Because 99% of the time they aren’t into me at all and whatever signal I think I might be picking up on is entirely unintentional or imagined.
I always assume the other person isn’t flirting, they’re just being nice. Or competitive in this case. And assuming this has never once led to me getting lunched or pepper sprayed or anything, so I’d say it worked well.
Also I still got married, just asked someone I worked with if they wanted to go hiking one day and surprisingly they said yes. (honestly who goes hiking as a first date I could have been a serial killer)
If you can’t be direct with the person you want to be romantic with, then why are you wanting to be closer to them?
I’ll go with “I didn’t want to be wrong and feel bad for guessing wrong” instead of the extreme responses. Definitely prefer someone who is direct and clear.
Well I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t mostly this. The feeling of rejection.
But the others did cross my mind a lot when I was wondering if I’m picking up on signals.
I would go hiking as a first date
On the other hand, my now-wife told me I was good at flirting when we started dating. I have never flirted in my life, and I still don’t know what she interpreted that way.
I could have been a serial killer
Nah she could tell you didn’t have the emotional intelligence of a serial killer.
That’s flirting. It’s designed to protect the person’s ego if they guess that their affections are not returned. This case would have been a good example if the op wasn’t interested. She could have played it off as trying to win.
And the human experience as well as range of personalities are incredibly broad. We know someone has a delightfully magical story about their now-spouse playing coy when they first met.
So, “yes and“ even a wildly cocky person might flirt just because that’s them being them.
Well said and great point!
Well, realistically, if you didn’t get the hint she should have kept going.
If she bailed, then you won.
Silver lininnnnnnng!
If it is any consolation, I think you might have won.
In college I had a crush on one of my young professors and I wondered if there was any chance of her accepting a date offer. I never had the courage to ask her though. When she handed my final test results back to me there was a sticky note that said “I loved talking to you. If you ever want to talk about ANYTHING, give me a call”, and her personal number was listed. I thought, “why would I want to talk about class now that I’m finished?” and I threw the note away and went on with my life. It wasn’t until about 5 years later when I was randomly thinking about that moment when it clicked and I was like “damn it!”.
Or she’s just trying to drink for free and would walk away after receiving said drink…. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen that happen to people back in the bar hopping days
I like to assume the best in people, until they show me a reason not to, I find I’m happier this way.
Me too but the bar scene with that happening is not the place to do that
Maybe on dollar shot night!
A flag is definitely raised by the fact a drink is actually being sought. Still a risk of it happening when a drink is simply offered, but that’s much more fair. (Hopefully it never happens to anyone enough for them to become jaded.)
Yep. A fool and their money are soon parted. Get her to buy you the drink if she’s that interested!
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen that one.
So when I was about 15/16 I was holiday and a group of us teenagers were hanging out and I had a big crush on this one girl.
Well one night she and her little sister invited me and a younger guy in our group back to their hotel room (seperate from their parents room) and I think nothing of it, when we get there she takes me by the hand and sits me down on her bed, then goes to the bathroom to “get ready” meanwhile her sister and the younger guy just start making out on her bed. I sit there for a minute awkward as fuck before I decide I don’t wanna watch these kids make out and just leave.
It wasn’t until years and years later that I considered the possibility of what the older sister brought me there to do. I still feel like such a dumbass.
Oh god, I was just as clueless and even worse, too shy to take advantage when I wasn’t clueless.
It took very persistent women to make anything work with me.
Meanwhile, my confident younger brother was beating the brakes off of every woman in our small town.
He was a total slut.
I read comments under post and think, is it good or bad that I haven’t similar flirts in past?
When I was younger and much twinkier I was at the gym trying to figure out what to do with all the heavy weights and machines and such and this incredibly hot musclular guy kept staring at me. I kept thinking I took his machine or that he could tell I had no idea what I was doing and was pissed at me.
Anyway, it only finally dawned on me that he was attracted to me when he started giving me a blow job in the steam room afterwards.
What gave it away? Were there any signs?
He asked me out on a date after. Still not sure if he was into me.
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I mean, if she was being playful and you’re not that kind of playful you might not have been a good match.
Flirting like that is really indirect, it’s ok to miss it, especially when some guys are trained to not engage with women they think are attractive since they don’t want to seem “creepy.”
Hey women: a lot of us don’t get your hints and flirts. Like, at all. Please be direct…
Hot girl: “Hey stud, wanna fuck?”
Me, not listening: “No thanks, I prefer compacts to trucks.”
Lemmy try, Lemmy try!
Ahem.
wink So what’s a girl need to do to get a Blu-ray of the “Barbie” movie around here?
Don’t you mean
So what’s an esteemed Academy Award nominated girl need to do to get a Blu-ray of the Academy Award and Golden Globe nominated movie “Barbie” around here?
By Grabthar’s hammer, what a savings!
In High School my dad and little sister came to pick me up from the state YMCA Y&G conference and I was told on the way out that the girl I was talking to was very obviously flirting with me. I didn’t even remember who I’d been talking to.
I’m aware of what that line means and I’d say the same thing.
You approached me. Buy me a drink.
I’ve done this before. -stranger comes up “Hi! I’m (random name), I’m having whisky sours!” -me “nice, I’m having beer”, orders beer and walks away.
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Try the words “gin and tonic”. That works pretty much everywhere.
TIL that not all humans float in water.
