Conceiving after 35 is next to impossible—right?

After she turned 42, Teesha Karr thought she was done having kids. Six, in her mind, was perfect. And besides, she was pretty sure she had started menopause. For the past six months she’d had all the same signs as her friends: hot flashes, mood swings, tender breasts. She and her husband decided they could probably safely do away with contraception. But less than a month later, Karr felt a familiar twinge of pain in her ovary—the same twinge she’d felt every time she’d been pregnant before.

Karr felt embarrassed. “Teenagers accidentally get pregnant. Forty-two-year-old women don’t usually accidentally get pregnant,” she told me. But, really, 42-year-old women accidentally getting pregnant is surprisingly common. Nearly 4 percent of all new babies are born to women 40 and older, and about a third of pregnancies in this age range are unplanned, according to the latest data from the National Center for Health Statistics. It’s a frequent enough occurrence that the plots of Downton Abbey, Sex Education, And Just Like That, Grey’s Anatomy, and Black-ish have depended on it.

Many women still believe that by their 40s, unintended pregnancy just isn’t something they have to worry about. After all, many of us are told our whole lives that our biological clock is ticking, that our fertility plummets after 35, and that if we wait too long we’ll likely need some form of reproductive technology to get pregnant—if we can get pregnant at all. If conceiving at this age is so hard, surely you wouldn’t get pregnant by accident, right?

Non-paywall link

  • Dr. Wesker
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    4 months ago

    TIL that women can start menopause as early as 40, depending on genetics and other factors.

    • @Shou
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      14 months ago

      Onesity can also lower the age. But the average age to start going into menopause is 45.

  • @[email protected]
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    144 months ago

    Ok no. I’m in Texas and this is…unwelcome news. Why don’t doctors tell us this is so common?? IUD FTW tho.

    • @[email protected]
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      44 months ago

      I prefer the non-hormonal arm implant. Much easier to get in and out than an IUD. I ended up getting my tubes tied, though, so I don’t have to use it anymore.

      • @[email protected]
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        44 months ago

        And that’s fair, the copper IUD is also non-hormonal, but I had other issues and needed the hormonal version to help with a very heavy cycle/anemia. I also tried Depo and that was great, but you can only be on it for so long before osteoporosis becomes a concern.

      • @KaTaRaNaGa
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        14 months ago

        What’s the non-hormonal arm implant called? Haven’t heard of it and a Google search is not giving answers.

          • @KaTaRaNaGa
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            14 months ago

            Thanks for the heads up. Seems like Nexplanon is a hormonal birth control though.

            • @[email protected]
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              24 months ago

              Ah that would explain why it didn’t work well for me. My OBGYN said it was non hormonal but she must have been mistaken.

              • @KaTaRaNaGa
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                24 months ago

                Boggles the mind sometimes the trust we put in experts… I was scratching my head going, “How can something in your arm prevent pregnancy if it’s non-hormonal?”

                I genuinely have no idea how a professional could have come to another conclusion. Not trying to be rude. I really don’t understand it.

                • @[email protected]
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                  23 months ago

                  Yeah, it’s difficult to find quality care with people who know their shit. I’m so glad I got my tubes tied so I don’t have to deal with the stress of doctors and pills and IUDs and implants anymore. It’s not a realistic option for folks who want to have kids someday tho. We need better care.

  • @shalafi
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    104 months ago

    Yeah, that’s down to ignorance and rotten sex ed. I’ve had sex with many women of all ages and in their 40s, particularly early 40s, they’re still wary. Late 40s/early 50s, all bets are mostly off.

    Still, it’s alarming that a women could think she had been through menopause and is still fertile.

    • @Eranziel
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      104 months ago

      I imagine part of the problem is women seeing the start of menopause and thinking that means they’re no longer fertile. It’s a process, not an off switch.

  • ericatty
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    94 months ago

    What would count as an old baby being born? Why “of all new babies being born”? My thoughts are spiralling, please send help

  • @SacralPlexus
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    34 months ago

    The average age of menopause in the USA is 51. Source

    Think about how averages work - that means about half of people start at 51 or older.