- cross-posted to:
- parenting
- cross-posted to:
- parenting
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Shit, I don’t know. I’m just trying to take care of my kids.
“help out” sounds pretty offensive when you run the whole place.
… the time parents spend with children has gone up for both women and men. Indeed, one study found that today’s generation of moms spend nearly twice as much time with their kids compared to moms 50 years ago.
As a dad who is struggling to juggle work, kids, housework and mental health all at the same time. I think this is a real problem that needs work on a societal level. Why are both parents needing to spend so much more time looking after their kids? Surely kids weren’t just neglected previously? I’m really not sure whats changed, but there are so many parents under so much stress these days.
The expectation is so much higher for parents now than it ever was on my parent’s generation. My parents were there, I felt loved, and they kept us alive, but they weren’t as involved in my life as I feel I have to be with my kids now. We were out playing most of the day and only saw each other in the mornings and at night alot of the time. My parents were doing whatever in the intervening hours. Getting left home alone was a common occurrence (for a few hours at a time).
Parents now though are being held to a higher standard and are even getting in trouble for things like leaving their kids unattended. That coupled with less resources and support available (time/money) and a more insidious business culture that’s trying to squeeze money from parents through their kids at every opportunity, makes it a fucking clusterfuck for parents in this day & age.
Gee, I wonder why the birthrate is going down?
Was there more grandparent involvement in the past maybe?
And less organized activity. They might go out and play on the street. Now its off to an organized event or activity. I think there was a lot of supervised neglect before, though. Most kids still did fine but many didn’t. The thing is, a lot of kids are still ending up with mental health issues.
So I agree. Its a societal problem that needs a societal solution.
Nowhere in the article does it say “help out”, that’s on you OP. Dads aren’t helping out when it’s their own family, they’re involved in their family life.
Edit… Apologies, it does say that. It’s on the author then. Dads are members of their own family, not outside help.
It’s the title from the article. The words help and out are literally the 3rd and 4th words on the page.
Omg sorry, I didn’t see it somehow 🤦♀️
Did you think I made up the title lol?
And I get what you mean. But the data seems to say that women are the primary caregivers. If men were to do most of the cooking, wouldn’t we say women are helping in the kitchen? Maybe lawn care is a more realistic example. I think the second party is often described as “helping out”
I did, yeah, sorry 😄
No, when someone on a team is doing their job, you don’t call it helping, you just call it doing your job. I’m not helping by doing laundry, I’m just doing laundry. I’m not babysitting, I’m taking care of my kids. I’m not helping with cooking, I’m making dinner. And so on.
Women are the primary caregivers because men aren’t doing their part, not because they aren’t helping. It is their job to be a partner and an active participating adult as well as the woman’s.
The kids help sometimes but the man is doing his job.
This it more of that cognitive load bs, isnt it?
cognitive load bs
wat
If you think this is bs, you either have a magical brain to be envied or you’ve just never actually taken on this work.
No. I think everyone has cognitive load. The issue is how people compare cognitive and physical load. For example, in Fair play, annual chores such as buying a birthday card are given the same weight as daily chores such as doing the dishes.
Not that I think it’s BS, but:
It’s not so much who is in charge of childcare, or the time spent with a child, but the questions to ask should be centered around the cognitive labor of a task. In other words, the mental load.
