Me girlfriend and I were walking along a beach and just had a bug (big) fight. I attempt to calm myself by buying an ice cream cone. I take one bite and a seagull dive bombed my cone while at the same time sitting (shitting) on my shirt. I absolutely lose my shit, rip off my shirt like Hulk Hogan, and go on an explative filled tirade. I’ve never been mader in my life. I totally get what this guy did.
Edit: (auto correct)
I feel the typos only make this better.
(bug fight actually lowkey sounds like a kiwi bloke saying big fight)
Just had a discussion with my wife, gf at the time in this story, about how my phone spell check sucks. It wants to correct “pet-free” but “cobdition” is ok.
Your wife remembers what you did before you married and has mucked with your autocorrect settings.
You have trained your spellchecker weel.
I guess that’s what I get for being in the Samsung environment for 14 yors.
if you’ve ever been around seagulls, you hate them too. fuckers will stealth mode up from behind and yoink food right out of your hands. food stands by the beach have notice signs that they will not reimburse you if you get robbed by seagulls
I had dreams as a child of capturing seagulls and tossing them into the ocean for stealing my damned food
I knew they could swim, it was just cathartic to see them get tossed and wet in my dreams
I’m around seagulls and I do not hate them. They’re just little guys, trying to make it
That would be a cool crossover.
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Totally measured response. “Don’t steal my chups”
If it wants chups it can get its own precious
Yeah, we kill millions of pests a year in much more horrific was than this.
They’re just sad they saw it happen.
In June, I booked a small beach holiday with the fam in Normandy. We were set having some BBQ outside and one of those fuckers flew over and shat on the table. It managed to hit 6 plates full of freshly grilled meat in one airstrike.
Fuck seagulls.
So the wanker was brought to justice in this case, it seems.
I would have done this many times over if ever could catch the bastards.
It’s bad luck to kill a sea bird.
Rats with wings at the beach.
Okay wow I have spent too much time on Lemmy this morning. I’ve reached the sludge at the bottom… I’m going to wash up and get out of this pit
Not a fan of great british memes
