Good article and good points all around. I’ve pushed back on expectations to socialize for years. It’s not that I don’t like my colleagues. I do. But we all have families and more important things to do.

These poor event planners would be horrified at people who refuse to attend in-person conferences these days. If it isn’t virtual, I’m not going.

Makes sense, especially if one doesn’t like their co-workers. I work in a pretty tight-knit group so hangs after work are usually fun. For me, I’d say the deciding factor in attending post-work social events is: will I need to “act professionally” or can I just be my weird normal self?

I was really close with my old colleagues, ending up being good out of work friends with a few. We shared that Band of Brothers bond from a few crazy times and projects. Once or twice a week it was normal to head to the pub and unload for a couple hours, then head home. This continued even after we worked at new places, we’d just change to the next easiest pub to reach for everyone and see how each other’s day went.

But then I moved city. It’s funny. I will be out of the offic asap and socialise to a minimum. But my old colleagues, we’ll fly back and forth and look for excuses to be in each other’s cities. One is arriving in a few days and we can’t wait to talk work shit.l for hours.