(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)
We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It’s probably improved over the years? But still awful.
Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.
All of that changed with the recent “bear vs man” debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.
And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!
I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.
Think of it like this, we as a civilization stand on the brink of collapse. Can we change it? Yes. Are we trying to? Yes. Is it working? Debatable.
About Lemmy, there’s all kinds of people here. Those with the know-how segregated themselves into particular communities and blocked out all the rest. They’re just quietly doing their thing wherever, with no fucks given about what’s happening outside of that.
Beyond that, in my opinion, are two types of people left to roam the default maelstrom. Those without the know-how and those who thrive in the drama. The former are usually driven out by the dramartists.
I’d see it to be the same as in society. There’s people doing their own thing, trying to be left alone. There’s people just stumbling through life, not knowing what they want or need, nor the means to get them. And then there’s the people who thrive through conflict and making things miserable for everyone else.
Both on Lemmy and in society, guess which ones usually end up in charge…
The answer though is simple. Get involved. Don’t want to deal with the toxic waste? Well tough shit, because the planet’s full of it. We’re at the stage where we all have to clean it up. There’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Want to give up and run away? Good luck with that! When there’s no more room left, all that toxicity will just spill all over you, no matter how hard you tried to get away.
As individuals, each of us is a minority. And if we keep running from the issues that plague us as a group, we’ll never be allowed to thrive.
I’m so glad to see someone share my mentality. If shit happens, and you leave, the people who let it happen are still there! It’ll only get worse! Stay and fight it!