(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)
We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It’s probably improved over the years? But still awful.
Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.
All of that changed with the recent “bear vs man” debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.
And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!
I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.
The most accurate response I can think of is many people on Lemmy want to be technically right (and I am no exception to this myself). You can see this in our many debates if the Democrats are a hindrance or the “best of the temporary solutions we have” in our debates in the best way to eventually form a working government.
The post in question (man vs bear) summarizes how much fear men have caused women throughout history in meme hyperbole fashion. Most people would “just get the point” that the meme is actually making. Women have suffered a lot from men. However, some of these Lemmy users correctly point out that its predatory behavior that should be called out; not “man vs woman”. After all, anyone regardless of age, religion, sexual orientation, gender, etc. can be a predator. The meme is correct but those who oppose the meme are “technically correct” as well.
also given the fact that it’s a thought experiment, and people like playing those out from time to time, as a result when someone plays out the “wrong answer” people also want to be “technically correct”
Gotta love the internet.
I agree with your point here but, being the 12 year old I am, here’s the meme.
The crux of the issue, in my opinion, comes down to those who have been victimized before. Without painting with too broad a brush, men like myself, have a had time viewing the question in the same lens. We don’t experience victimization in the same rates or as the omni-present threat that is learned via experience or indoctrination by others who have been victimized. Its a form of dog whistle men cannot normally hear. I dont choose the word dog whistle for the emotional impact but the base idea of the concept. We arent aware because that sense iant built up over time. That’s why its important for all those who are victimized that aren’t middle class white women to speak up. I know many do and they are ignored but we dont have to be that way. Dispelling that notion requires stories that don’t fit that narrative to blow out the mold and make use reckon with the reality.
I do understand the issue was more complicated than “misogyny”. I do think it was unfair to simply waive away experiences as yours but I’m sure being labeled as toxic was due to a misunderstanding.
I don’t have a solution to these problems myself (nor do I fully understand them). I do want to point out there are cultures out there who absolutely will not allow women to travel without a chaperone. Most outside of these cultures would call this misogyny while others will point out the same sentiments of this meme. Meaning I do understand why this meme was created and as pointed out beforehand, I get why some would oppose it.