(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It’s probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent “bear vs man” debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

  • @okamiueru
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    1 month ago

    I’m going to take all your questions at face value, and assume it’s all good faith.

    How would you feel if the hypothetical was asking if you’d rather encounter a bear or a Muslim?

    My emotions are not that fickle. I also don’t see an inherent problem with questions, nor this one in particular. It would be stupid of me to assume you mean something more specific than what you’ve stated. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, and ask to clarify constraints.

    What about a bear or a person who is black?

    Same thing here. You realise that what we’d be exploring is the concept of, and awareness of, potential biases and prejudices? And, more importantly, the prevalence of experiences that lead to such biases?

    Or a bear vs an immigrant?

    Oh, this one is clear cut. Immigrants are the fucking worst.

    (jk)

    See the issue?

    Nope. I don’t. You should re-evaluate the purpose of having conversations and discussing hypotheticals.

    Also, when we dehumanize or other an entire sex (which is what we’re doing here) who do you think suffers the most irl from that dehumanization?

    Is that what you think we’re doing here? If so, then we arrived at what the misunderstanding is. Which is a good thing. Or, it is if you give a shit about understanding the argument, and less about making your own. The latter is of course fine, but, on its own.

    Because it isn’t rich white men in gated suburban communities. It’s the black and brown men who are already viewed as inherently harmful and are disproportionately violently victimized by police and the state.

    If we want more George Floyds then we should keep spreading memes like this. Because this contributes to the mindset that allows us to view men of color as inherently dangerous superpredators

    Not related or relevant here. Not saying it isn’t important, but, as mentioned. If you want to make your own arguments or discuss other things, that’s fine. Probably effective to start your own thread for that.

    • @[email protected]
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      -31 month ago

      So you think dehumanizing men will not have an adverse effect on men of color. But are unable to state why.

      And you realize that only a racist or a bigot would prefer to encounter a bear instead of a black person, or Muslim, or immigrant. You would have to be a bigot to think any of those groups are “worse” than a bear. Which means a person would be similarly bigoted to prefer a bear over a man. It’s the same principle - discrimination on the basis of immutable traits. Which is universally recognized as a civil rights issue

      • @okamiueru
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        01 month ago

        You don’t seem to understand what’s being said. And, I’m not keen on indulging. Have a good one.

        • @[email protected]
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          1 month ago

          What is being said is that right wing organizations are utilizing astroturfed faux “feminism” as a dogwhistle to fearmonger about people of color and immigrants.

          This is the sort of rhetoric that would be pushed by the Daughters of the Confederacy, and similar groups. It is a mask for hate speech and marginalization, not an authentic expression of feminist values.

          Tiktok, along with all social media, is known to be a haven for astroturfed political movements and propaganda campaigns. Strange then how some “people” are unwilling to recognize this bear meme for what it actually is.

          • @okamiueru
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            1 month ago

            Why are you assuming and generalizing to that extent? Even if some malign interest are encouraging a trend, it’s still individuals expressing a view that aims to get some point across. If you think this is coordinated astroturfing, I think you might be just a tad delusional, and also simply not aware of why the bear analogy (not meme) was made.

            The troubling part here, would be to disregard the gist of the message: a lot more women than most people are aware of, experience unpleasant interactions with men. That this is expressed, perhaps exaggerated (for making the point clearer), perhaps genuinely and literally (because that’s their opinion), as rather taking their chances with a bear… Is kinda fucking rich to disregard as astroturfing, IMHO. And, if you are a normal, decent, empathetic person, and want to be perceived as such, I’d keep that perspective to yourself.

            • @[email protected]
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              -11 month ago

              Nothing on social media is real. Social media trends are never real or authentic. Especially on Tiktok. I have no idea how it could be 2024 and anyone could disagree. Corporations and monied interests entirely control what we see. That should be obvious by now.

              This meme is a racist dogwhistle that will contribute to the murder of men of color. Which is what the people pushing it want

              • @okamiueru
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                11 month ago

                I think you’re sincere, and it genuinely made me chuckle.

                • @[email protected]
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                  1 month ago

                  Fascistic-Corporate ownership and control of media sources doesn’t seem particularly funny to me, but go off