That sounds less like validation, and more like praise. Validation comes without expectations. You are valued. Your existence matters. You are okay, and we like you. Its nice to have you around. You cannot fail to live up to this; its an intrinsic value you have (perhaps up to the point where your crimes exceed in to the unforgivable, but for the sake of argument, I’ll just assume you’re not a serial killer or whatever).
Well, I’m sure you and they meant it well but they would say “you’re good, take your time, we like you the way you are” and now I cannot get anything done or take meaningful steps to improve my lifestyle.
Ah, I see. So you grew content with who you are, and now you have no motivation to improve yourself to your personal ambitions. That’s an angle I hadn’t considered. Well, in that case, get off your ass and get shit done! Just DO IT! :D I don’t know if that helps, but I know discipline and motivation is something a lot of people struggle with, who eventually figure it out.
If it seems completely hopeless and nothing works, have you considered talking to your doctor? Because there are after all some pretty big motivation eaters in undiagnosed ADHD or depression, etc.
I have the opposite problem where I’ve received zero validation and just assume anyone even attempting it is just fucking with me and can be ignored or treated as a joke
![The hard stuff [Mr. Lovenstein]](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/85f1d258-b44b-46f3-a3fc-0b39de5d4c13.jpeg){kind=link}
I’ve received so much that I’ve built up natural immunity. They hyped me up and now I regularly fail expectations, and when I do I cannot be consoled.
So yeah, the comic is right: external validation can fuck one up.
That sounds less like validation, and more like praise. Validation comes without expectations. You are valued. Your existence matters. You are okay, and we like you. Its nice to have you around. You cannot fail to live up to this; its an intrinsic value you have (perhaps up to the point where your crimes exceed in to the unforgivable, but for the sake of argument, I’ll just assume you’re not a serial killer or whatever).
Well, I’m sure you and they meant it well but they would say “you’re good, take your time, we like you the way you are” and now I cannot get anything done or take meaningful steps to improve my lifestyle.
Ah, I see. So you grew content with who you are, and now you have no motivation to improve yourself to your personal ambitions. That’s an angle I hadn’t considered. Well, in that case, get off your ass and get shit done! Just DO IT! :D I don’t know if that helps, but I know discipline and motivation is something a lot of people struggle with, who eventually figure it out.
If it seems completely hopeless and nothing works, have you considered talking to your doctor? Because there are after all some pretty big motivation eaters in undiagnosed ADHD or depression, etc.
I have the opposite problem where I’ve received zero validation and just assume anyone even attempting it is just fucking with me and can be ignored or treated as a joke
That’s a pity cuz I skimmed your profile and you’re valid