- In short: A cryonics company has frozen its first client in Australia in the hope of bringing him back to life in the future.
- The client, a man in his 80s, died in Sydney before being frozen at minus 200 degrees Celsius at a Holbrook facility.
- What’s next? The cryonics facility is expecting higher demand as its membership base ages, although it’s still unknown whether anyone preserved this way can ever be revived.
This shit always makes me giggle.
You wanna know what happens to all the moisture in your body when you freeze it?
It crystallizes, turning basically every cell in your body into an expanding razor blade which slices through every other cell.
Your brain gets turned into mush, held together by a matrix of ice.
Imagine dropping a piece of paper into a paper shredder, then putting those paper strips into a blender with water. Then you take the blended mass of paper mush out, and try to reassemble it.
That’s what these people think medical technology can do in the future.
Fucking morons. There’s nothing to put back together! It’s fucked! You cannot unblend your death certificate!
If you don’t believe me, try freeze a block of tofu at the back of your freezer at the coldest setting, then thaw it out.
From the article
It’s a pretty crude description for an audience not expected to know anything about this, but even so it’s obvious they’re not just shoving a body in liquid nitrogen and calling it a day.
They might as well. No amount of antifreeze is going to stop cells from crystallizing on a mollecular level.
This is even disregarding the most important part, the brain, which you can’t flood with antifreeze.
There just isn’t a way around this.
They found a way to make a funeral a monthly expense, why can’t you respect their hustle?
Yup. This.