I (20M) was never really a social person and spendy my middle school alone but I was able to make some friends in high school

However, ever since I started my Bachelors I’ve struggled to make friends.

I’ve tried joining clubs or participating in events but even when I do manage to have successful conversations I can’t manage to turn that into a friendship. Considering how the year just ended I’m not going to have a chance

I never minded being alone when I was younger but my loneliness is really starting to really affect me.

I’ve lost any internet in watching tv shows or movies or playing any games, I can’t find the motivation to study and always feel tired.

I’ve also started to constantly fantasize about being in a romantic relationship and worry about if I’ll be alone for the rest of my life despite the fact that I’ve never had any interests in relationships or even an IRL crush.

I also have a porn addiction that’s growing worse and I’m worried about its long term effects on me.

I’ve also never had any online friends before which means I don’t know where to start.

I really need help.

  • @[email protected]English
    3•6 months ago

    Most people struggle in college, hence one possibility as to why you aren’t finding friends is that they are going through similar to what you are (or something else equally as devastating to their own lives). So ironically, you are not alone in feeling alone:-). Tough it out bc it will get better. Also, it will repeat again after you leave college to move forward.

    Even people surrounded on all sides by friends and family can feel lonely - learn to accept that and become okay with being by yourself, at least part of the time. Other times, maybe talk with your parents and high school friends in a phone call. And you can talk with us here on the Fediverse too:-). But voice is better.

    That said, maybe don’t try to date right now - putting your sense of self into someone else’s hands isn’t healthy for either you or them. I am no psychologist though. Speaking of, your school should have some resources to help you - check them out bc this obviously bothers you, so seems worth the effort? They could even have some stuff for you before the Fall.

    Find something that sparks joy in you, and do a little of that.:-)