That didn't happen.  <-- We are here
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.  <-- We are here
And if it was, that's not a big deal.  <-- We are here
And if it is, that's not my fault.  <-- We are here
And if it was, I didn't mean it.  <-- We are here
And if I did... You deserved it.  <-- We are here