In college a few years ago, I decided to spend that time building up a foundation of beliefs and philosophy while my brain finished developing that would serve me for the rest of my life. This focus on self-improvement led to less mental energy spent on other people.
I think this has given some the impression that I’m a little narcissistic, but I’ve been pretty good at avoiding overconfidence. I’ve long considered myself self-absorbed but not self-centered, focussing on myself but only so I can be a better person than I’ve been.
Last Friday I realized that at some point I moved from one to the other. I stopped listening and started waiting to get conversations over with, only wondering what I was going to need to do for them. I stopped growing because I ran out out of things I had thought of that I had a reason to learn.
I don’t like being like this. I am trying to shift from a “what do I need to do?” attitude to a “what do others need that I can help with?” Any advice?
Have you considered local volunteer work? You could go give blood. You could visit a retirement home and bring some board games for the residents to play. Just some ideas. I don’t think you’re self centered. You reflect on how you can be less self centered, and most self centered people don’t do that.