when i was a child, i had a tendency to extremely hyper fixate on various topics for months, so now that i’m older it just feels like i’ve experienced everything even though I technically haven’t. the fixations are becoming much more quick in terms of cycles / how long they (don’t) last and i spend most of my time feeling bored and empty, just rotting away and feeling entertained by nothing. lately this has caused me to get really stuck in the past, so i spend a lot of time just laying in bed crate digging my own memories and feeling kind of depressed because i have nothing new to be excited by or interested in. it does not help that i don’t really have any long term goals or ambitions either, i just kind of exist.
does anyone else feel like this?
How so?
No more racing thoughts hamstringing my abilty to do stuff. No more unreliable surges of motivation. I’m much more consistent and stable. But i still have to temper my expectations regarding what I can get done in a day.
Is the drive still there at all? Only a few days of no-dose and I no longer have the energy or consideration to even be motivated.
It was explained to me that my drive was primarily based on my bipolar disorder. Since that is now gone I have to develop an alternative to stay motivated. I’ve been told to take it slow, day by day and work up to doing bigger and bigger things. I don’t think I’ll ever be a workaholic again. My life is simple and I get a little more productive everyday without burnout.
Thanks. Doc and I had a conversation about it just recently. He’s closing shop which means I’m back to shuffling record releases that go many moves and a decade plus long. There’s a quality of life that I’ve come to appreciate; it can get expensive finding a doctor that shares the same viewpoint.