In the last year or so I started to see so many people of my age that have done truly incredible things and still doing more.
For the vast majority of my life my only goals were gettimg academic satisfaction and doing unproductive stuff in the free time to get temporary pleasure. No end goal whatsoever.
I kind of don’t know what I’ve been doing in the last 17 years while someone gets a patent on solar systems, other invents a new recyclable plastic, and another found a successful startup. I mean, they all find what they’re supposed to be doing with their lives and excel in them.
I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people. Yet I don’t like the way the things are and I can’t do anything but envy those people.
Anyone with experience in this regard? How did you deal with this? Did you eventually “pace up” with these people or was it too late or an unattainable goal?
Edit: Whoops, I didn’t expect so many replies! Thanks, I’ll look into them all
A couple of years ago, I used to work for one of the major oil and gas companies. The work I did in my first assignment was interesting, and I met amazing people. I could see myself working there the rest of my career and becoming a subject matter expert. It was a somewhat prestigious job, I lived pretty cushy, and I put the rest of my earnings away in retirement and savings. It was supposed to be the ideal life for a white collar professional.
And I was miserable. I couldn’t see it until I left the job, and by that point, I was in a horrible place mentally. I worked remotely for a bit before leaving, and my closest friend back in the city said I was the happiest she’d seen me in a long time. Before the pandemic I had been a fairly heavy drinker, and was already trying to cut back, but during the pandemic it turned into full blown alcoholism. I couldn’t feel relaxed on the weekends unless I “took the edge off”. I also couldn’t focus well at work, thanks to hidden ADHD that I had been able to mask as a student with my drive. It became a much bigger factor from the pandemic onwards.
I could keep going but I think you get the idea. I spent those years living to work and neglecting my mental state. I was a zombie, a shell of myself wearing a mask for the public. I already knew that money didn’t buy happiness, but it turns out, prestige doesn’t either. Being successful as society defines it doesn’t bring you purpose or joy or fulfillment.
You’ve got a lot of time ahead of you. The only thing that’s a waste of time is spending too long worrying about if you’ve wasted your time and being so distracted by it that you miss out on the present. Take each day as it comes, pursue your plans, and be ready for your plans to take a detour. The best laid plans of mice and men go awry.
Choose what you can’t not do.
Wait wait you cannot end the story on a cliffhanger like that. So what happened? Why did you leave your job in the end? When and how did you realize you need to go? What do you do now? How’s your drinking?
I didn’t think people would read this, sorry!
I got an ultimatum to either return to the office or lose my job, and then I went on medical leave for my depression/anxiety to extend my time to think about it. At the end of the period, I decided to leave. I wanted to be closer to my family, I had really soured on the company, and my supervisor hinted that I was going to be hit with low performance anyway. I took about a year after that as a breather and to give therapy and medicine some time to work. I studied a bit of Python for part of that, and I got hired later in the year. Same overall field, but a totally remote position, and working for a renewable energy company.
The drinking is a lot better. I basically went cold turkey over the holidays because my parents don’t drink nor like alcohol, and then I stayed at my parents after the holidays while I dealt with depression. That helped me do a reset and I’m better with alcohol now, but very, very wary. If I’m unable to properly manage it I’m just going to stop drinking entirely – granted, right now I only drink socially (which imo is how it should be), so that’s fairly easy.