Hello ladies (current and former) of Lemmy (current) - I’m curious how your experience of the male gaze has changed as you moved in and out of young-woman-hood.

How has your opinion of being seen changed through this process?

  • @weariedfae
    25•6 months ago

    I have always been “non-traditional” looking. When I was young and skinny I don’t think I was ugly but certainly not conventionally beautiful. Now that I’m older I am certifiably “meh”.

    The expectation to look pretty (for men) is still there even if I don’t meet the criteria for their attention. I still feel the societal pressure, I still feel bad about my appearance when I’m not serving male gaze ideals. It doesn’t just go away even when you’re disqualified from personhood for being ugly.

    I’m hoping becoming an old biddy will release me from requirements and I can feel free.

    • Clay_pidginOPEnglish
      4•6 months ago

      Interesting that you still internalize the pressure. Maybe that’s a result of how much women are guided to be objects of sexual interest from youth?

      As a guy, I can dress as poorly as I want and not feel less manly because of it. I will still feel stigma about class and stuff, though.

      I’ve definitely heard that being old is liberating! I hope I get there someday.