Thank you

Here’s what happened with me.

I got off work and usually the first thing I do is pour vodka mixed drinks until I get nice and sloshed and go to bed. Been doing that religiously for a long time. Probably years. Last night I decided I wasn’t going to drink that night. Just to show myself that I didn’t need that stuff. At first it seemed fine. 3am came, tired, but not ready for sleep so I laid down. Felt like I needed to sleep but I couldn’t…very restless. Every time I did start to fall asleep, I’d wake up and start twitching and breathing heavily. Gave up on that idea and decided to stay up. 8am, still restless, 10am, fail. I started getting ready for work around noon. Took a shower and laid down hoping for a nap, and nothing…same thing. I felt like I was going to lose control of my body. Hard to explain. Like I was being inside of an uncontrollable machine. The anxiety got real bad. My body felt a dull pain constantly. My mind was scrambled. Thank God I found somebody to cover my shift tonight. I absolutely had to have a drink or I would have lost it. My current plan until I can maybe see a doctor or something is to slowly ween myself off this shit. I want to be sober so badly. I know I can do it. I’m just looking for some answers. I didn’t realize how dependent I was on this stuff. I’m probably not as bad as some people but this is the first time I’ve felt like this. I’m.lost and not really sure where to go from here. Is it possible to get on some relaxer medicine or something to get me thru the initial withdrawal symptoms? This is absolutely horrible. Thank you.