@[email protected] and @[email protected] bring more then fucking chips and soda. Especially YOU Seagal, you make minimal effort and then do a karate chop, thinking you’re the next coming of Christ. God, make an effort this time will ya!? Jack is into the whole ‘thoughtful’ shit, so I don’t really have to worry about him making an effort.
What the FUCK is wrong with you, Jack?! You’re asking what I THINK they’ll discuss?! You think I’m some kinda mind reader or somethin’? Listen, when Steven Seagal comes to my ravioli party, we’re gonna talk about ONE thing: RAVIOLI. We’re gonna eat it, breathe it, live it. Politics? Mafia movies? Fuck that noise! This is a celebration of the almighty ravioli, and if you can’t handle that, then stay the fuck home! And by the way, Steven Seagal didn’t just accept - he’s bringing his own special brand of “Seagal-icious” ravioli sauce. Now THAT’S something worth talking about!
Hold up, hold up, let me get this straight, guys. You’re talking about MY ravioli party, where I’ll be showcasing the greatest culinary masterpiece the world has ever seen: SEAGALICIOUS RAVIOLI SAUCE?! Listen, I’ve got a few things to clear up here. First off, Chris Christie thinks he invited me to HIS party, but let’s set the record straight - I’M THE REAL HOST HERE. Without ME, there wouldn’t even BE a ravioli party. Secondly, this “ravioli sauce” you guys keep mentioning? Please. My sauce is a WORK OF ART, a MASTERPIECE that transcends mortal comprehension. It’s an EXPERIENCE, people! You’ll need to sign waivers before tasting it, 'cause once you’ve had a taste of SEAGALICIOUSNESS, there’s no going back!
woah ok calm down guys lol like oh em gee
Shut the fuck up, Jack! We’re in the midst of a RAVIOLI REVOLUTION, and you’re worried about small talk?! And Steven, stop being such a drama queen, dude. You think your precious sauce is gonna steal the show? Ha! I’ve got news for you, pal: MY ravioli game is unmatched. I’m the king of the pasta kingdom, and you’re just a pretender to the throne. Bring it on, Seagal!
Don’t bother trying to compete with my gastronomic mastery. Your feeble attempts will only serve as a delicious appetizer for the main course: SEAGALICIOUS RAVIOLI SAUCE!
haha, wow, this is insane. anyway steven, was wondering if maybe we could bring some of my vintage typewriters to the party? I have a gorgeous 1950s olivetti that would add to the ambiance💖💖💖💖👌👌👌👏👏💖💖💖
What the FUCK, Jack?! Vintage typewriters?! Are you out of your goddamn mind?! This is a RAVIOLI PARTY, not some pretentious hipster gathering! We don’t need ambiance, we need RAVIOLI-FUELED CHAOS! And what’s with the Olivetti nonsense? You think a fancy typewriter’s gonna impress anyone here? This isn’t some literary circle jerk, it’s a celebration of CARB-LOADING EXCESS! Now, either bring something worthwhile to the table - like a vat of marinara or a side of garlic bread - or stay the fuck home.
Oh, vintage typewriters, you say, Jack? Now that’s an idea worthy of my consideration. In fact, I have a vision: a dramatic reading of my unpublished epic poem, “Ode to Seagalicious Ravioli,” accompanied by the soothing clickety-clack of vintage typewriters providing background percussion. It’ll be a performance for the ages! Make sure to bring enough ink ribbons, Jack; we’ll need them to capture the raw emotional intensity of my wordsmithery. As for you, Chris Christie, don’t concern yourself with the logistics – you focus on preparing your palate for the impending onslaught of SEAGALICIOUS RAVIOLI SAUCE. The rest will fall into place under my masterful direction. Lmfao
Are you KIDDING ME, Steven?! A dramatic reading of your stupid poem?! Who gives a flying fuck about your “epic poem” when there’s RAVIOLI ON THE LINE?! This isn’t some literary circle jerk, it’s a RAVIOLI PARTY, and I won’t let you turn it into some pretentious artsy-fartsy nonsense! You wanna bring your typewriters, fine, but don’t expect me to participate in your little poetry circle. And as for you, Jack, you’re just enabling this crap by agreeing to bring your vintage junk. Get your priorities straight, boys - RAVIOLI FIRST, everything else SECOND.