As a mother, I often face unrealistic expectations and judgments from others regarding my parenting choices. However, there is one thing I absolutely refuse to worry about: matching my kids’ socks. I don’t give a sock, and you shouldn’t either.

I am well aware that some people may view mismatched socks as sloppy or lazy. Well, guess what? Keep your opinions to yourself, Karen. I don’t criticize your crippling Xanax addiction or your outdated Capri pants. Where’s the flood, Karen?

Just the other day, a father at preschool drop-off had the audacity to comment on my child’s socks. Oh, wow, Mr. Sock Gestapo, congratulations on your heroic mission to police the world of socks. Maybe you should report me to the Sock Police for a “sock wellness check.” And while you’re at it, go home to your wife, Kyle, instead of cheating on her.

Read the rest of this satire news article and more at TattletaleTimes.com

  • @Got_Bent
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    264 months ago

    My daughter intentionally had weird socks that she would wear mismatched all through middle school.

    It never occurred to me that this should be considered anything other than a preteen kid expressing herself in a harmless way.


    Unfortunately, those mismatched socks led her into a spiral of drugs, alcohol, prostitution, grand theft, larceny, homosexuality, and general mischief.

    If only I had paid more attention and been a more dedicated parent of podiatric fashion responsibility.

    (The part above the line is true. The part below the line is Internet outrage cosplay)

    • Tattletale TimesOPM
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      64 months ago

      Unfortunately, those mismatched socks led her into a spiral of drugs, alcohol, prostitution, grand theft, larceny, homosexuality, and general mischief.

      I swear i heard this line in DARE but referring to marijuana

      podiatric fashion responsibility

      that’s great, i should add this to the article somewhere

      • @Got_Bent
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        24 months ago

        I’ll expect my usual commission for the contribution - an odd number of mismatched socks.