Image: bingo card labeled “bad at being a person bingo”

For the sake of describing this card through a narrative, the columns from left to right will be letters A thru F, and the rows top to bottom will be numbers 1 thru 5.

Squares

1A: i don’t know wtf is going on

1B: LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY THINGS OMG SHINY

1C: elaborate daydreams

1D: something is wrong but i don’t know what

1E: why is my backpack full of rocks and papers from a year ago

2A: puts things down; where’d it go

2B: scared of human

2C: having a body is weird wtf

2D: is suddenly really good at a particular thing for 3.2 days

2E: i’m tricking people into thinking i’m one of them

3A: am i just not trying hard enough

3B: doesn’t eat; why do i feel bad

3C: error 404 motivation not found

3D: stares at wall for an hour

3E: walks out into the snow without a winter coat

4A: “why can’t you do this?” i don’t know

4B: on second thought that was a terrible decision

4C: time goes slow and then fast

4D: walks into wall

4E: World’s Most Messy Room

5A: sorry i didn’t respond to any of your messages for six months

5B: weird sense of humor

5C: how do i tell if people like me

5D: how are other people so good at talking

5E: idk if i’m coming off as creepy all the time

Edit: I just realized that I absentmindedly relabeled the columns from BINGO to ABCDE. I like mine more anyway.

  • @DeestanEnglish
    3•4 months ago

    Humans aren’t real and they can’t hurt me.

    The only reason I don’t qualify for messy room (anymore) is that I share bedroom with my spouse. Once the kids move out and I can get my own home office, I’ll probably be able to check it again.

    Pretty sure I’m not creepy. People don’t seem to avoid me or complain.