This one is a true story:

I was in Dallas Love Field with my daughter several years ago.

I said, “You know, this is where John Kennedy landed only a few hours before he was killed. Show some respect and try not to make an ass…assin of yourself.”

Roughly fifteen years later her eyes still haven’t come back from rolling into the back of her head

I’m still proud of myself for coming up with that little airport joke on the fly