Alternatives also include:

• Doorknob
• Drain clog
• Snot rocket
• Skidmark
• Ass-fuck jizz trickle
• Vacuous
• Food-free sandwich
• Rust-fucker
• Turd slurper
• Glue eater
• Cream flinger
• Barbara Streisand
• Chimp dicked
• Gas blaster
• Rat-fuck bastard
• Soggy cardboard
• Piss dribble
• Crayon Cruncher
• Bison hugger (if ya know, ya know)